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I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
I went to a Six Flags. There's this new ride there; I had to wait in line for, like, four hours to get on this thing. Finally got on it, it was...
A Ferrari And A Boner
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a boner? I don't have a Ferrari right now.
Great Pick-Up Line
A man walks up to a woman sitting alone at a bar. "Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned.I mean, we could...
PickUp Line Comebaks
Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic." Man: "Haven't I seen you...
bar pick up line
My buddies over there said that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with...
Nice Pick-Up Line
A cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a...
Awesome Pick Up Line
Aproach a young lady and say "You look like you could use a little dick.. and it just so happens that I have a little dick" If the...
Gay Pick-up line
What is the most common pick-up line at a gay bar? A: Can i push your stool in for you?
Behind you in line at DQ - m4w
I was in line at the DQ on 6th getting mother's usual order of 3 hot dogs and onion rings. I was looking down at my Gameboy, not paying attention...
Pissed off airline customer.
A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry...
Best Pickup line ever
A Texas cowboy walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch...
a comical pick up line
Guy: excuse me ma'am you appear to have something on your chest. Unsuspecting woman: Oh my goodness what is it? Guy: my EYES!!!
12 italian priests
Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a...
Funny one line jokes
What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup! Why don't aliens eat...
Drunks vs Stoners
What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner? A drunk drives through a stop sign. A stoner waits for it to turn green.
Pick Up Line
A well dressed, debonair man in his mid nineties enters an upscale cocktail lounge and finds a seat next to a good looking, younger woman in her...
A very handsome and even more confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then...
Things to do at the DMV
Have sexual apparatus strewn about the backseat of your car as you conduct driving test. When you read for the eye test, announce...
Pick up line that wont work
Walk up to a woman and ask if you can smell her pussy. when she says no say well, it must be your feet then
What is the number one pickup line in a gay bar? - - - - - "May I push in your stool?"
Rape Advice Line
I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims.
Maginot Line Joke
What do you call the Maginot Line? A German speed bump If you don't get it, fuck you, learn history
Little guy in the line
It was the day of the big sale. Rumors of the sale and an advertisement in the local paper were the main reasons for the long line that formed in...
A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. He saw a man come...
Luke's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror...
Graffiti Artist Trolls City Worker
How To Trick A Vending Machine
Player 3 Has Joined The Game
Self Parking Car Epic Fail
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Shower Thoughts That Actually Make Sense
Shocking Ways Dogs Have Evolved Over The Last 100 Years
Caption Contest #88 "Bald Britney"
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