In these times of tough decisions on who to vote for, which party is the best for me, and why does my butt itch so much, you only need to ask yourself one question:
Which candiate am I least likely to want to kick in the balls?
First Round: we have Senators Obama and McCain...
Now McCain is a War Vetran, and Obama hails from the Chicago area...both are mentally & physically capable of getting nailed in the junk, and being able to stand back up eventually.
However...
McCain is rather old...80 something? And Obama is young. Now it would be semi-fun to kick Obama in the nads, hurting old people never gets old. Bam Margera has been messing with his parents, and now he is a star. So for round one the person I would want most to kick in the balls would be:
McCain.
Second Round: Joe Biden & Sarah Palin...
Joe just gets on my nerves, he seems like the guy that bought ... Read more ...
FADE IN:
JULIE and AW SMITH are in a living room. JULIE is wearing a American Flag Bikini while sitting on the couch, and AW SMITH is wearing a three piece suit. AW SMITH has already removed his white shirt, and tie. He has yet to remove his $300 shoes, $100 belt, and $500 custom fitted pants.
JULIE: Oh your bad, yes you are!
AW SMITH: (raising the roof & skipping around) I'M BAD! Oh yeah! Are you recording this?
JULIE: Yeah the red light is on. Oh you have moves (makes growling noise). Go to the pantry and get the syrup.
AW SMITH: OK.
AW SMITH walks to the pantry, grabs the syrup, and returns to the living room.
JULIE: Now, pour it all over you.
AW SMITH: Oh yeah!
JULIE: I always know how to get you sticky.
JULIE walks over to wear AW SMITH is standing, and proceeds to lick the syrup off his chest.
AW SMITH: Now that is sexy, I dont care who you are.
JULIE: (makes growlin ... Read more ...
The long walk to the loo was a painful one, for my bladder was litterally the size of an elephant...okay that was an exaggeration. It was a long walk from one side of the store to el bano. I walk in the bathroom of echos. Every little noise that touches the tile walls and floor bounces back. Not being a bat and not needing "echo location" I ignore the unecessary feedback, and head to the urinal.
Rats!
Some un-savory character is taking up valuable real estate at MY urinal. My love for the urinal is profound. There is no need to aim...it is right there at my member's level. Remembering that I need to flow like Niagra, I duck into the middle stall. I unzip and proceed to release the power from within. The noise of urine hitting toilet water bounces off the wall and into my ears. I daze off into "AW's World." I could attempt to describe "AW's World" but I would have to make up some words, and we do not have time for that rubbish at the moment.
Somethi ... Read more ...
