I went downtown last night to be an escort for a friend.

Everything was cool till we were walking back to her car.  Some thug fellow brothers came up and called me a whitie (I was wearing a cardigan sweater and slacks while they were wearing baggy pants and chains).

The mouthy one said that he had an 8 inch anaconda, while I was packing a 2 inchs of fury.  He kept blabbing and blabbing, finally putting his arm around my shoulder.  I stepped to the side and told them that we had places to go.  The stupid n***** then bragged about how he drives a lexus, as I am stepping into a beamer.  He bragged about hustling, something that is not impressive.  They hammered down the street, drunk, as I opened the door for my friend.

The problem with the mouthy n***** is that he made all black people look dumb with his old idealogy of 90's black survival.  If he would have been a little bit more subdued personally, and showed respect for other people, he could have elavated his status as middle man dru ... Read more ...

Something just wasnt right.  It was early, and my brain had not booted up to Windows expecations of normal running.  It was to be expected.  I had not forgotten Sarah Marshal, and how long it would take me to get hard for her and Racheal.

I was relieving myself in the approriate manner, in my toilet, not in te front yard.

I lifted my foot up to flush the toilet, the same way I had seen it in that one commercial advertising for soccer.

Lake Erie is what that flush turned my bathroom into.

As I was splashing around in the newly formed hyrdo formation like a duck or a child or a child duck I realized I had to act fast to curb the new ecological disaster that had befallen my bathroom.  I quickly showered, skipping fun time that I so enjoyed, and proceeded to the nearest retail location to buy myself something that could hamper the mess as soon as humanly possible.

I entered the fluroscent light edifice and found the nearest flunky that could assist in my finding of the necces ... Read more ...

It could have started out any other way and it would have still ended the same. Now the best part about a evening is being able to recall it the next. Insomnia striking in, I was determined to do something with the time that was more constructive than my usual methods.

It all started yesterday afternoon with my friend calling me saying she needed a jump...not a problem. Not a fucking problem at all. It may have been cold outside but that was nothing compared to the frozen lump that was my heart towards the one girl that would just not let it be. It is hard to go any further without giving a background, which is just not allowed for the time being.

So after the car was jumped, and everything was semi-good to go with the newly regenerated automobile, I was volun-told to attend the Christmas festivities. Good, groovy, great, you want a transition you have got one you crazy monkey man you. I went to a hole in the wall of a town, with a hole in the wall police/security force that was not quite pre ... Read more ...

Although I have been spreading this comment around like the clap:

"I cant wait for the holidays to be over so I can start treating people like shit again."

I dont really mean it...I wish everyone a very festive holidays no matter what your religon, color, sexuality, or if your a virgin.  I just hope you spend time with someone that cares about you.

If not then go and get a prostitute...and take some pictures for ol AW now.

Merry Xmas eBaumers, I would not be able to enjoy this site if it wasnt for all of you!

~AW Smith

Well weddings sucks.

They suck the big one.

You have to be around people that you want to spray down with a fire extinguisher and then hit over the head with.

You go without the confort of control that everyone needs and deserves.

The fact that know body around you is even remotely interesting or cool makes me want to jump off the balcony while saying "Damion this is for you!"

I have met two people (new people that I did not previously know) that were nice, funny, and actually caring.  I have wanted to scream at the top of my lungs before locking everyone inside the building and pulling a "Carrie"

Like I told ugdork I am going home tommorow, and am more than ready to be in my own bed, eating when I want too, with my pooch.

Fuck weddings, if I ever get married I am eloping.

I will write another series of blogs about the eloping process and all the dirty things that happened on the wedding night.  You know bondage, whips, masks, oils, threesomes...meh m ... Read more ...