A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast; bacon, eggs, perhaps a slice of toast? Grapefruit with coffee to follow?

He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "it's really taken the edge off my appetite."

At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. A bowl of home made soup, maybe, with a cheese sandwich? Perhaps a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?

He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."

Come tea time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. She'll go to the cafe and buy him a burger. Maybe a steak and cheese pie? Pizza? Or a tasty stir fry that would only take a couple of minutes?

He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "it's really taken the edge off my appetite."

"Well," she says, "would you mind getting off me? I'm fucking starving!"

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Good girls blush during love scenes in a movie. Bad girls know they could do it better.

Good girls loosen a few buttons when it's hot. Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons.

Good girls only own one credit card and rarely use it. Bad girls only own one bra and rarely use it.

Good girls pack their toothbrush. Bad girls pack their diaphragms.

Good girls prefer the missionary position. Bad girls do too, but only for starters.

Good girls say, "No." Bad girls say, "When?"

Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls. Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls.

Good girls wax their floors. Bad girls wax their bikini lines.

Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed.

CAUCASIAN WOMAN:

First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.

Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.

Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. Then you promise to marry her but will probably abandon the idea.



JAPANESE WOMAN:

First date: She's shy, so you don't get to kiss her at all.

Second date: She'll take a bath in front of you and let you smell her panties.

Third date: You get to have kinky sex with her. Then she will bid you sayonara as that was her fling before getting married to a Japanese man.



MALAY WOMAN:

First date: You get to touch that big breast of hers.

Second date: You get to home base with her.

Third date: You have to promise her that you are gonna get circumcised. Then you will marry her and find out that you have to support her whole family. The only conso ... Read more ...

17. "I finished the Oreo's."

16. "Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs forty pounds."

15. "Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Anderson had a baby."

14. "I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever."

13. "Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the SuperBowl."

12. "Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."

11. "Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."

10. "Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"

9. "I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"

8. "Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"

7. "Get your *own* ice cream."

6. "Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today."

5. "Got milk?"

4. "Maybe we should name the baby afte ... Read more ...