ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.ACTORS do it on cue.ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.ANSI does it in the standard way.ARCHAEOLOGISTS like it old.ARCHITECTS have great plans.ARTISTS are exhibitionists.ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.ATTORNEYS make better motions.AUDITORS like to examine figures.BABY-SITTERS charge by the hour.BAILIFFS always come to order.BAKERS knead it daily.BAND MEMBERS play all night.BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal.BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.BEER DRINKERS get more head.BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entryBOSSES delegate the task to others.BOWLERS have bigger balls.BRICKLAYERS lay all day.BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time ... Read more ...

I just thought of a good point to make to the government on some of their laws.  This has been bothering me for awhile.  Now that I'm 18 years old, I got a question for everyone.  I'm old enough now to vote and join the army to go fight and die for my country but I'm not old enough to buy beer or go into a casino.  In my opinion, this doesn't really make any sense to me.  This law needs to be changed.  I just wanted everyone's take on this so comment, rate, and let me know what you think or if you agree or disagree.

You're not sure of:THE DOCTOR because he says, "Take off your clothes."THE DENTIST because he says, "Open wide."THE HAIRDRESSER because he says, "Do you want it teased or blown?"THE MILKMAN because he says, "Do you want it in the front or the back?"THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says, "Once it's in, you'll love it."THE STOCK BROKER because he says, "It will rise right up, fluctuate for a while and then slowly fall back again."THE BANKER because he says, "If you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest."THE HUNTER because he goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.THE TELEPHONE GUY because he says, "Would you like it on the table or against the wall?"

A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast; bacon, eggs, perhaps a slice of toast? Grapefruit with coffee to follow?He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "it's really taken the edge off my appetite."At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. A bowl of home made soup, maybe, with a cheese sandwich? Perhaps a plate of snacks and a glass of milk?He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "It's really taken the edge off my appetite."Come tea time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. She'll go to the cafe and buy him a burger. Maybe a steak and cheese pie? Pizza? Or a tasty stir fry that would only take a couple of minutes?He declines. "It's this Viagra," he says, "it's really taken the edge off my appetite.""Well," she says, "would you mind getting off me? I'm fucking starving!"

Bartender: "Joe, you look kinda down, what's the matter?"Joe: "Well, I went to the doctor this morning and told him I had to get some of those Viagra pills. The doc ... Read more ...