This is a joke, but it is also a true story. When I was taking psychopathology, I had a great professor who had taught at the vast psychology department at University of Minnesota. While he was working there, he had a grad student working for him that was one of those guys that while he was quite bright, he just didn't seem to get it.

The grad student was working for credits at a clinic, and the doctor warned everybody that during the winter there was always an influx of some of the more bizarre cases because as the weather got colder they wanted to get off the streets.

One day, while the grad student was conducting preliminary interviews (he had to separate the people who had mental illnesses from the homeless that were faking just to get in) he had someone come into his office and sit down.

He looked at the guy who came in and said: Good morning, sir. How are you today.

The guy replied: I'm just fine. Feeling great except for the fact that I'm dead.

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There was once a guy who went to see a doctor. He went into the doctor's office and said Um, doc...I don't want to give you the wrong idea, but the other day a friend showed me a porn movie for the first time in my life. It made me a little worried.

Why's that? said the doctor.

Well, because every guy in the movie had a penis that looked different than mine.

So the doctor told him they'd have a look and the guy unzips and pulls himself out. His penis is lumpy and twisted like a piece of driftwood and it practically has knots in it. It's black and blue and looks like it's got rugburn, too. It's in a real sorry state.

The doctor says: I haven't ever seen anything like this. I can run a few blood tests, but I'll have to get back to you.

But about a week later, the ... Read more ...

Want to make some quick money in a bar? They used to cal lthis trick "The Smoked Hat" because it used to use a cigarette instead of a hat, but since smoking has been banned in a lot of bars then this is the way to go. All you need is a hat and enough balls not to fear getting yelled at.

First, go to the bar of your choice and buy a shot. Next, put your hat over the shot and challenge someone to a bet that you can drink the shot without touching the hat. Make the bets small, about $5, and see if you can get plenty of takers. Getting ten guys to put up (and loose) $5 is a lot less likely to get you beat up than tricking one sap out of $50

Next, make some sweeping gestures with your hands and come up with a "mystic incantation" or two...something like "Abra-Kalamazoo... Wibble-wobble... Holy-Harry-Houdini-I-Need-A-Drink!" Then, act like you're swishing something in your mouth and swallow hard. Finish with a dis ... Read more ...