If only the technology existed to deal with the level of nitwits on the net, then:

On eBaums World anyone who entered the comment of 'fake' would immediately have their monitor explode.

On MySpace, anyone that had so much crap on their page that it took over two minutes to open would be digitally castrated.

On Wikipedia; an ass that attempted to re-write an entry as a prank would be subject to other people re-writing their life.

Any person on any site complaining about how Obama won will be banned from the 'net, for life. The election is over. Deal with it.

Anybody under the age of 18 trying to give ranting lectures about the value of life experience would be forced to go to www.corner.org/dunce.

Weather.com would work.

So would Mapquest.

If the church can transubstantiate wine for blood, then people should be able to PM confessionals.

Yahoo!Answers would help.

You would be able to sell your soul to the devil on eBay...and get po ... Read more ...

Here in Pennsylvania there's a true story about a grade school principal. He came into supervision of a really crappy school and turned it around. Thing is, he had one particular 'trick' he used a lot to discipline students: Lines.

Using the writing of lines has been implemented as a school punishment for almost as long as there has been school. Whether it's writing 'I will be quiet in class' a hundred times or copying from the works of Aristotle, having children write has always been a common penalization.

That is, until, one child in this school complained about it so much their parents filed a grievance that the principal was inflicting corporal punishment by asking the children to write. Other parents soon joined the chorus, and as those are serious charges, the principal was removed from his post.

Quick change of gears, and timelines...has anyone here ever read the original Grimm's fairy tales? They are quite twisted. The prince in Sleeping Beauty hadn't woken the girl wit ... Read more ...

The 'Net. There has been a whole lot of bullshit about fake accounts and user anonymity posted lately. Some of it's a legit complaint, some of it's hokum, and a lot of it is whining. But I have my own take, and I'm tellin' it whether or not you care.

I admit I'm an old hand. My first programs were in COBOL and Fortran. Which means that I was playing in digital before there was an Internet. Back when speeds of 9600 Baud were considered blazing. I feel like a Gran'pa for saying this, but I remember a time when the only networks were the independent ones. Like NiteOwl, the WELL, and university VAX systems.

But let me get to the feckin' point: Back when 'Nets' were new there was an idealism that prevailed. You could represent yourself online as your true self. In the real world, people were superficial. They would be prejudiced because they would see you before they spoke with you and slap you with a label before you even opened your mouth.

Before anyone even got the chance to hear you the ... Read more ...

I have now been on the site as a member for a grand total of 196 days. Just over half a year. And to comemmorate it, make a suggestion, and celebrate a little in my own geeky way...let me paraphrase a little Tolkein.

I hope you are all enjoying yourselves as much as I am. There might be cries of 'Yes' and some of 'No'.

I shall not keep you long which should get cheers from all the assembly. I have called you all together for a Purpose.

Indeed, for Three Purposes! First of all, to tell you that I am immensely fond of many of you, and that one hundred ninety-six days is too short a time to quarrel among such excellent and admirable weirdos.

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Secondly, I want to note that for a couple days now I've been hovering around the low 600's as far as my standing on the eBaum's ladder. With over 62,000 overall members, I'm p ... Read more ...

Pain. It's all completely relative.

You see, I had this friend that I had known for over 20 years. He lost his wife just about 5 years ago and he used it for an excuse for everything that he did after that. Once she died from brain cancer, he pissed his life savings away. He reacquainted himself with alcohol and the cocaine habit he had kicked two decades ago. Not to mention the new habits he acquired of playing with hookers and beating up his lovers.

And he would freely say to those who pointed out his mistakes: 'What the hell would you know about it. My wife died.'

That is, until just a few years ago when after a minor disagreement he stormed out of my life, never to return. Honestly, to this day I have no idea if he's doing well or if he's dead in a landfill.

And it was very hard for his girlfriend at the time to accept, so I had to explain it to her this way. Pain is completely relative. Even a child who leads a protected life is subject to pain. If they lose a treas ... Read more ...