On another site I ran some polls using old-fashioned children's rhymes. Yeah, I know this is completely corny and makes about as much sense as a sack full of assholes but it might be worth a chuckle. Enjoy it. Or not. Can ya tell my head hurts too much to blog today?

The Results:

Wee Willy Winky runs through the town...16.67 percent: upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown.33.33 percent: because he needs to find a condom right away.0.00 percent: He's had too much sugar and caffeine.50.00 percent: Because there's a manhunt for his ass.There was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile...40.00 percent: He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.0.00 percent: His knees were so darned knobby he was sterile.30.00 percent: He had a crooked dick, and damn that felt good.30.00 percent: I don't know why he just didn't drive.I love little pussy; Her coat is so warm; And if I don't hurt her...20.00 percent: she'll do me no harm.20.00 percent: she won't have her three brothers beat me up.20.00 percent: she'll cum in my arms.40.00 percent: it's hard for her to get off.(-Before you jump on my ass for this one, most of the responders were female...apparently, the women on this site like it a little rough!-)Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie; kissed the girls and...0.00 percent: made them cry.0.00 percent: made them sigh.66.67 percent: bit their thigh.33.33 percent: only did that 'Fake Hollywood' kiss because he's in the closet.Simple Simon met a...0.00 percent: pieman, going to the fair.12.50 percent: fat ugly bastard who beat the crap out of him.87.50 percent: woman of questionable morals.0.00 percent: horrible fate.Jack Horner sat in a corner...7.69 percent: eating his Christmas pie.0.00 percent: because he was a dunce.15.38 percent: whacking off to his porn.76.92 percent: getting a blowjob from his cousin.(-Somehow, I really thought porn would be more popular than incest. Who knew?-)Mary, Mary, quite contrary...11.11 percent: how does your garden grow?22.22 percent: how does your pussy glow?33.33 percent: how good those lips do blow.33.33 percent: you know you are such a ho'.There was an old lady, who lived...0.00 percent: in a shoe.0.00 percent: in the projects.42.86 percent: for way too long.57.14 percent: in sin.Jack and Jill went up the hill...7.69 percent: to fetch a pail of water.7.69 percent: which was kind of dumb.30.77 percent: to the pub.53.85 percent: and they didn't come back down for some time, and when they did their clothes were all rumpled and had grass stains.Mary had a little...0.00 percent: lamb.37.50 percent: problem.12.50 percent: orgasm.50.00 percent: okay, so her penis wasn't little at all.Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating...18.18 percent: her curds and whey.0.00 percent: against the advice of her doctor.54.55 percent: her girlfriend.27.27 percent: wait, what the hell is a tuffet?Little Boy Blue, come blow your...18.18 percent: horn.27.27 percent: mind.36.36 percent: boyfriend.18.18 percent: self.

And if Andrew Dice Clay has a problem with this he can go dickory his dock.