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Okay... I didn't create this. But I found it interesting enough to post. Enjoy!
The term "politically correct" was originally a snide term for those who objected to racist or sexist jokes and assumptions. It was used when defending oneself against being called out for discrimination. Due to definition creep, its now a snide term for anyone who objects to anything and diminishes those who object to racism and sexism. Keeping that in mind, here's a joke about terms gone way far out in outer space.
How to Speak About Women and Be Politically Correct:
1. She is not a “Babe” or a “Chick.” She is a Breasted American.
A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. ... Read more ...
1. The reason why our bras don't always match our underwear is because WE actually change our underwear.
2. The next time you and your buddies make jokes about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim at the toilet rim.
3. If we're watching football with you - it's not bonding - it's their butts.
4. Whenever possible, please try to say whatever you have to say after the movie.
5. Lay off the beans several hours before bedtime.
6. Please don't drive when you're not driving.
7. If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed.
8. The next time you make jokes about female drivers, research the number of accidents caused by rubber-necking mini-skirts.
9. If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?
10. Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care.
11. When you're not around, I belch loudly, too.
12. We don't mind if you loo ... Read more ...
Wanted: Women To Test New Condom (A unique approach to meeting new women)
Experts Are Sure The Dow Will Either Rise Or Decline (Well, now I can stop worrying about my investments since the future is so certain....)
Blow To Head Is Common Cause Of Brain Injury (It took the experts to figure that one out)
Low Pay Reason For Poverty, Study Says (They needed a study to find THAT out?)
You Can Still Bury Grandpa Out Back (So we don't have to wait until he's dead?)
Mortuary Adds Drive-Through (Maybe the mourners will beep their horns loud enough to wake the dead)
Teacher Dies; Board Accepts His Resignation (That's got to be the toughest way to quit a job that I know of!)
City Wants Dead To Pay For Cleanup (And we all thought taxes ended with death!)
US Says Insect Parts, Rat Hair Are OK In Food (Gimme An Order Of Insect Parts, Easy On The Fries.....)
Ants Take A Long Time To Cook In Microwave (Who thought of this recipe, anyway???)
10. My wife and I can’t come to the phone right now, but if you’ll leave your name and number, we’ll get back to you as soon as we’re finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity at the office and don’t need their picture taken. If you’re still with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling…. and I’ll think about returning your call.
7. Hi! John’s answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I’ll stick your message to myself with one of these magn ... Read more ...
