DISCLAIMER: These stories have happend to either me or my frriends and are factual for the most part. I embellished a few parts to make it more entertaining. Hope you enjoy! - Mrturnerrules

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So last night my girlfriend went to the bar for ladies night with her friends. It was one of those "ladies nights" where the girls drink free till 2am or something like that. Bars do this supposedly to get more girls to come to their establishment in order to lure more guys into the bar. It is probably the most annoying thing on the planet if you are a guy because if you are going there to pick up women, you still have to buy them a drink. It's not like you could say, "Hey beautiful, why don't you get yourself a free drink on me and then talk with me for a while while i stare at your breasts." I girl would piss on you for that. Either way, the bar makes out like a bandit. I'm sure jesse jackson could bring a sexual descrimination case ... Read more ...

Last night, me, my roommate, and a couple other buddies went to this new bar called Swampgrass Billy's. Its supposed to be the coolest place in town. Brand new. The decor is supposed to be psuedo-modern cajun style with a twist of key west. Personally, it sounded like a hokey shit whole. The kind of place where the only beer on tap is budweiser and the only drinks they sell are called City Slickers. This does not sound like a good time to me, but for opening night they are having 25 cent Longnecks all night, who can argue with that.

The bar was exactly what I expected. It was something that escaped from Ted Nugents Colon. Deer mounted on the wall, bails of hay instead of barstools, Slutty cowgirls dancing with those broom sticks wiht the horse head on them on 2 giant tractors, they even had a mechanical bull.

My only options for entertainment at that point was to get my roommate incredibly drunk and then go pick up some girls from around the bar and watch him fail miserably at trying to hit o ... Read more ...

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:  'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.'   'Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.'   After months of careful research, MALE &FEMALE Procedures have been developed Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'  ******************************* MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine.2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.4. Enter amount of cash required and     withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.6. Put window up. 7. Drive off.   *******************************   FEMALE PROCEDURE: What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!  1. Drive up to cash machine.2. Reverse and back up the required     amount to align car window with the     machine. 3. Set parking br ... Read more ...