Friday, December 30th, 2011, 05:30pm EST
I left a comment on evil___monkey's blog and quickly deleted it. It was in response to his title 'Noah's Ark: The most implausible story ever'. My comment was about me getting Scarlett Johansson pregnant. Implausible yes but not good enough.
This leads to the challenge. Write a blog that really could be the most unbelievable story ever. Don't let some rookie come in and set the bar.
-Adios
This leads to the challenge. Write a blog that really could be the most unbelievable story ever. Don't let some rookie come in and set the bar.
-Adios
Sunday, December 4th, 2011, 08:44pm EST
Here are things that I either said or were said to me this past week. My family and coworkers were in rare form.
The truck is stuck out in the middle of the cornfield and YES I was drunk.
I took the gun because they were going to kill me.
He is an old friend. Why he has my coffin in his basement!
I smell like onions and whores.
Good thing the cops didn't know he had a meth lab.
I would start looking for another job if I were you.
I just made you drive 80 miles for no good reason. Sorry.
Did you say the Bears lost to the Chiefs?!?
Point the barrel toward the roof of you mouth to make sure you do it right.
Did you ever have the urge to smell her chair after she had been sitting in it all day?
- Adios
The truck is stuck out in the middle of the cornfield and YES I was drunk.
I took the gun because they were going to kill me.
He is an old friend. Why he has my coffin in his basement!
I smell like onions and whores.
Good thing the cops didn't know he had a meth lab.
I would start looking for another job if I were you.
I just made you drive 80 miles for no good reason. Sorry.
Did you say the Bears lost to the Chiefs?!?
Point the barrel toward the roof of you mouth to make sure you do it right.
Did you ever have the urge to smell her chair after she had been sitting in it all day?
- Adios
Tuesday, November 15th, 2011, 11:33pm EST
I feel compelled to write another blog. If for no other reason than to help push my last whiny boo hoo life is hard blog to the second page.
My job has kept me in the same office building for eight years. We share it with four other small companies. There is one main bathroom on the first floor. In this entire time I have not seen one bit of graffiti on the bathroom walls. Nothing. Not even the classic 'don't look up here the joke is in your hands' scrawled above a urinal. Oh sure there is the guy who doesn't flush after taking a dump but it isn't the same.
This is way different than my last place of work. It was grocery store. There were some true artists in those stalls. Guys who could draw perfect caricatures of each manager. Wordsmiths that blended in classics with new rhymes. They would fill every inch of the partition and when it got painted it was like a fresh canvas. When management attempted to stop it by using black paint, they would get out their box cutters and etch their mas ... Read more ...
My job has kept me in the same office building for eight years. We share it with four other small companies. There is one main bathroom on the first floor. In this entire time I have not seen one bit of graffiti on the bathroom walls. Nothing. Not even the classic 'don't look up here the joke is in your hands' scrawled above a urinal. Oh sure there is the guy who doesn't flush after taking a dump but it isn't the same.
This is way different than my last place of work. It was grocery store. There were some true artists in those stalls. Guys who could draw perfect caricatures of each manager. Wordsmiths that blended in classics with new rhymes. They would fill every inch of the partition and when it got painted it was like a fresh canvas. When management attempted to stop it by using black paint, they would get out their box cutters and etch their mas ... Read more ...
Friday, November 11th, 2011, 11:25pm EST
I now think that I understand what Elvis was saying. No. Not that Elvis. Not the fat guy who bought it on the crapper. I'm talking about Elvis Costello.
It is a lyric from a great song 'Deep Dark Truthful Mirror'. It is a track on rock solid CD called 'Spike'. It goes like this....
One day you're going to have to face
A deep dark truthful mirror
And it's going to tell you things that I still love
you too much to say
We have been separated for 4 months and I finally fell out of love far enough to tell my wife what she needed to hear. I have enabled her habit to fester for 10 plus years now. Now her world is falling apart. Not that is was that secure in the first place. Whether she overcomes this issue or not, I don't know if she will ever want me back in her life. This creates a question for me. Either way, would I want to go back? Resentment is a powerful thing.
- Adios
It is a lyric from a great song 'Deep Dark Truthful Mirror'. It is a track on rock solid CD called 'Spike'. It goes like this....
One day you're going to have to face
A deep dark truthful mirror
And it's going to tell you things that I still love
you too much to say
We have been separated for 4 months and I finally fell out of love far enough to tell my wife what she needed to hear. I have enabled her habit to fester for 10 plus years now. Now her world is falling apart. Not that is was that secure in the first place. Whether she overcomes this issue or not, I don't know if she will ever want me back in her life. This creates a question for me. Either way, would I want to go back? Resentment is a powerful thing.
- Adios
Sunday, August 28th, 2011, 03:50pm EDT
I am teaching my daughter how to drive. She has done a great job so far but we found a trouble spot. Parking. Not parallel but regular old grocery store lot type parking. When reversing out of a spot she either starts the wrong way or over-corrects.
Showing her wasn't sinking in and I wasn't doing a good job of explaining it.Instead of letting her learn by hitting cars like I did, I went to the web for some help. I thought there might be some advice out there and I was right. My search took me to the WikiHOW website. This is the actual steps they have listed.
If parking forwards with an automatic transmission
1. Either steer left or right.
2. Pull into the parking space.
3. Shift to P (Park).
If you think that is brilliant, I noticed a link to the left of the screen for steps to start a car.
# 1 The first thing you will need is a vehicle. Assuming you have one, the next step is to get in the vehicle, in the driver's seat. T ... Read more ...
Showing her wasn't sinking in and I wasn't doing a good job of explaining it.Instead of letting her learn by hitting cars like I did, I went to the web for some help. I thought there might be some advice out there and I was right. My search took me to the WikiHOW website. This is the actual steps they have listed.
If parking forwards with an automatic transmission
1. Either steer left or right.
2. Pull into the parking space.
3. Shift to P (Park).
If you think that is brilliant, I noticed a link to the left of the screen for steps to start a car.
# 1 The first thing you will need is a vehicle. Assuming you have one, the next step is to get in the vehicle, in the driver's seat. T ... Read more ...
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