Ultimate police comments - - - These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

#16 "You know, stop lights dont come any redder than the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because theyre new. Theyll stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, Ill make your Birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, youll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because thats the speed of the bullet thatll be chasing you."

#11 "You dont know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I dont think it will help. Oh, did I mention that Im the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., Im warning you not to do that again or Ill give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where You go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey crap."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those Just two beers you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we dont have quotas anymore. We used to, but now were allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "Im glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS...

#1 "You didnt think we give pretty women tickets? Youre right, we dont. Sign here."