Viewed 581 times.
11 Comments.
Thursday, September 24th, 2009, 11:34pm EDT

Strghtjcktgrl got me thinking how nice it is to get my dick wet and what I should look for in a good meat holder.So I am taking applications for a dirty sex slave. This is what I'm looking for....

*Big tits,if you don't have big tits I will take small ones.

*2 or more nipples

*One hot to luke warm vagina

*Ability to breath through nose for a long period of time

*Some teeth

*No facial hair(beards tickle my balls)

*Loves the cock

*Loves to talk dirty to Dirty

*Likes it when I fart while she sucks on my meat rod

*Does a funny voice when I put my nuts on her forehead

... Read more ...
Viewed 510 times.
11 Comments.
Friday, August 21st, 2009, 11:53pm EDT

strghtjcktgrl69@yahoo.com.I am intrested in sitting on your face.My name is not important you can just call me your fuck toy for now,i saw your profile today and got so wet I slid right out of my chair,i would like to know if your dick is as freakishly large as I hear it is,and i want you to send an email to my email address so i can give you my picture for you to Beat your meat rod to.Here is my email address (strghtjcktgrl69@yahoo.com) i believe we can move from here.I am waiting for you to mail to my email address above so we can meet up and I can bang you like a screen door in a hurricane.Mr.Dirty just Remeber the length or thickness of your cock does not matter as long as its long and fat.Your Love Miss SJG! Anyone else get this shit?I think it be time for a FUCK sandwich!

Viewed 676 times.
15 Comments.
Friday, August 14th, 2009, 12:32am EDT

I've never used sex toys. Unless you count the time I was 13 years old and masturbated to Teela. Okay, I didn't really yankee my spanky to Teela. But I did create a highly perverted story of her getting gangbanged by He-Man, Skeletor, and Optimus Prime.

 

Isn't that every girl's dream? To be banged by

- A steroid-using freak whose best friend is an Orko

- A guy who hasn't gotten laid in so long his whole BODY is blue and by a

- Robot/truck?

That's all you need to know about the differences between men and women, right there. As children, girls dress up dolls for their wedding while boys smash their toys together in a violent orgy. That's why as kids, boys don't let girls play with them. Because they will ruin our violent, perverted fun!

And girls refuse to let boys ... Read more ...

Viewed 452 times.
27 Comments.
Friday, July 10th, 2009, 12:16am EDT

A lot of guys get caught --- staring at other women when out with their girlfriend.

And to those guys I say, if you VALUE your relationship, youll simply stop getting caught.

Because us men MUST look at every woman. In a split-second we think things like, Hell yeah, only in the dark, get her on an exercise bike and get me a six-pack, "hmm, yes BUT I wouldnt tell my friends, cute face, nice Spongebob Bookbag, no! Dont want to go to jail!

It is foul and it is base but it is true. This is the nature of Man. We can see 8,945 excuse me46 pairs of snuggle-bubbles and still be curious as to how the next bims look. We are all programmed to be pre-verts. We want to see more, more, MORE! This explains the rate at which hard drive storage space has increased.

But as men, we MUST at ... Read more ...

Viewed 700 times.
15 Comments.
Thursday, July 2nd, 2009, 10:15pm EDT

Never hold a grudge. Hold a hammer. It's a lot more intimidating.

 

Choose your partner wisely. I mean, you probably have so many options, right? That's why you keep calling your ex-girlfriend, right? To tell her all about your countless other options.

 

 Don't confuse sex with love. Sex is best to be confused with trust.

 

 communicate your needs. Your partner can not read your mind! Your partner is barely listening to you when you SPEAK... and you expect him or her to listen to what you DON'T speak?

 

 Seriously, you must communicate your needs. Except if your needs include another man's penis in your butt.

 

 View yourselves as a team. Preferably a SWAT Team where you blow up stuff and shoot bad guys. Because that's pretty ... Read more ...

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  • dirtysanchez10
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About Me

About me: I am 6 ft tall, I have NO body
hair...not even pubic hair( I look like a
really big 5yr old down there), I lost my
virginity to a proctologist..when he stuck his
finger in my butt it made me cum....his name
was Dr. Adkins(you always remember your
first),i got caught masturbating by my Mom
when I was 12......she was driving and I was
in the back seat..what the hell was she
looking at me for? When I hear the theme to
SpongeBob...I cum a little bit in my pants. I
like ketchup on my eggs.

And if your not part of Dan&Dirty's Disfuncional Misfits group most likely you will get Aids and die...look I don't make the rules, I just go by them.

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