Roses are red, violets are blue,

sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,

the sugar bowls empty and so is your head.

After you, my love, my only prize.

Would be a bullet between my eyes.

Of loving beauty you float with grace.

If only you could hide your face.

I thought that I could love no other.

Until, that is, I met your brother.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot.

This describes everything youre not.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

Damn, Im good at telling lies!

Every time I see your face.

I wish I were in outer space.

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you screwed up my life.

Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,

If its true, Id prefer you inside out.

I see your face when I am dreaming.

Thats why I always wake up screaming.

My love you take my breath away.

What have you st ... Read more ...

I was stuck in traffic yesterday and just kinda thought it would be fun to masturbate. It was sunny and clear out, so I was worried one of the other drivers would see me, but my Jeep is pretty high off the ground, so I think no one noticed.  I busted a nut and aimed it down, ruining my tweety bird floor mat.  I felt kinda stupid after and my mom kept silent the rest of the drive home.  It was awkward and I regret it.

What an easy way to get 50 eRep points.  All you have to do is write a blog, even if it is empty and pointless.  I wonder how many blogs I can write with next to nothing in them.  Maybe I will just start posting the jokes that are too long to fit into the joke submission box.  Well whatever I do, here comes another 50 eRep points.  Thanks eBaum!

PS - I just found out when I tried to post this, that you can only enter a new blog every 5 minutes.  So I am going to continue typing now in hopes that I can waste another minute or two before trying to post again.

PPS  - I thought it had been 5 minutes, but maybe the counter restarts every time I try to submit again.  I guess I will just go surf for 5 minutes and then come back to enter this blog.  It is starting to not be worth the 50 eRep points, but who am I kidding I will wait it out for the points.

Now that this Blog thing is taking over eBaums I decided that it might be time to start writing one.  This is my first entry and is simply a test to see how it appears.  Maybe if I am lucky it will get featured, since it seems some really lame blogs have been featured lately.