"My wife and I found the secret to a peaceful marriage several years ago - separate bedrooms. I sleep in the east bedroom and she sleeps in a different part of town."
Mike Nichols

"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
Sacha Guitry

"After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together."
Hemant Joshi

"By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates

"Woman inspires us to great things and prevents us from achieving them."
Alexandre Dumas

"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?'"
Sigmund Freud

"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me."
Anonymous

" ... Read more ...

Dear Sir

Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which I'd used for years without any trouble.

However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware beta-programme, Party Girl 2.1 that I tried, had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to Fiance 1.0 only to discover that ... Read more ...

When God created woman, He crossed a dung beetle with a cow and got this cute little thing with tits that runs around looking for shit all day.

A recent survey asked 100 sexually active men what they most enjoyed about a blow job. 99.9% of them said, "the 10 minutes of silence"!

Advantages of having an affair with a married woman?
They give like hell. They do not yell. They do not tell. They do not swell and there is no wedding bell.

The factory where women are made has been found: It's called "Fatties and Moanies".

Women have to be more beautiful than smart, 'cos men see better than they think.

Woman's Quote of the Day:
"Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with."

Men's Counter-Quote of the Day:
"Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicatin ... Read more ...

*Note: Due to the complexity and difficulty level of their contents, each course will accept a maximum of 8 participants only.

........................................................................................................

Topic 1 - How to fill up petrol tanks within 2 hours.
Step by step, with slide presentation.

Topic 2 - The toilet paper roll: Why do they have to have pictures of bunny rabbits on them?
Round table discussion.

Topic 3 - The modern socio-economic aesthetics of being able to write your name in the snow using urine.
Group discussion.

Topic 4 - Fundamental benefits of not changing your perfectly clean clothes several times a day.
Pictures and explanatory graphics.

Topic 5 - The after-dinner dishes and cutlery : Why dishwashers are the saviour of womenkind.
Ex ... Read more ...

An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He stated that hurricanes at one time were all given feminine names and that ships and planes are usually referred to as "she."

One of the students raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?" Not having a ready answer, the teacher divided the class into two groups, males in one and females in the other, and asked each group to decide whether a computer should be considered masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.


The group of women concluded that computers should be considered masculine because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

4 ... Read more ...