1. What are you thinking about?2. Do you love me?3. Do I look fat in this?4. Do you think she is prettier than me?5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question #1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: "Im sorry if Ive been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. "Football." b. "Golf." c. "How fat you are." d. "How I w ... Read more ...

These were actually real police comments:

#16 "You know, stop lights dont come any redder than the one you just went through."

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because theyre new. Theyll stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, Ill make your Birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, youll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because thats the speed of the bullet thatll be chasing you."

#11 "You dont know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can tal ... Read more ...

This is by the far the craziest night and morning of my life.

Last night me and my buddy David ate some acid.  We were driving down the road just hangin out about two hours after we had eaten the acid.  As I was driving, my buddy David says "Holy shit! Did you see that fucking gremlin!"  Thinking he was kidding, I told him to "Shut up" and kept driving.  He was arguing with me for about a minute when I decided to turn around to show him there was no gremlin on the side of the road.  

As I was driving back I made a U-turn at the light and what do you know.....There is what looks like a fucking gremlin standing right there on the sidewalk, so we stop and ask it if it wants to come with us, so it hopped into the back seat of my Honda Accord.  As we were driving we forgot that it was back there until we heard a voice talking to us about an hour later saying "I'm hungry."  At this point we were freaking out and we didn't want to get the gremlin mad so we went through the nearest fast food ... Read more ...