I know I'm not the only person that has had problems with this site. Not only does it consistently cause my computer to freeze up when I visit it, but it also has this annoying habit of giving me viruses. It's like a damned dirty whore: It keeps giving me "gifts" I don't want, yet I keep wanting to come back and let it fuck me all over again because it's that good. It seems to me several people have this problem. The people running this site don't seem to have any qualms about letting this situation continue as if nothing's wrong here. It's possible the only way to get anyone to take care of anything around here would be for everyone to quit coming to the site. But everyone already knows there's no way in hell that's going to happen (I refer you my previous "whore" statement). Hell, I doubt I could even keep myself from coming back. Much like drugs and sex, this place is fucking addictive, is it not? Whether you come merely to peruse and make the odd comment, socialize with others because they're the only ... Read more ...

I've been coming to this site for a few months now. In that time I have managed to befriend quite a few people on here and make a few enemies. Here lately, it seems as though more asscunts are coming out of the woodwork. I have more people who hate me for no reason now than I have ever had. They continuously spew shit and, the majority of the time, they are extremely bad at it. It's becoming quite entertaining, seeing what these people leave on my profile and what they put in reply to my comments. They actually believe they know me because of what I say on here and what others say about me. It just cracks me up how seriously some people take shit around here! Here are a few pointers for those of you who would have diarrhea of the keyboard:

1. If you're going to insult someone, make sure you make yourself look more ignorant than the person you are insulting. That way, you will be taken seriously.

2. Check your spelling and grammar. Lord knows no one wants to spell "douche" wrong!

3. Don ... Read more ...

Anyone that knows me knows I talk about sex...a lot. They also know that I can take any conversation and make it about sex. So, being the person I am, I created a group for people who like surprise sex. I was in this group today reading comments people had made, and something someone said prompted me to tell the story of how I was fucking this guy I met at a party and he tried to shove his cock in my ass. I was like "Whoa dude! I don't even know you!" See, the thing is, he didn't even spit on it or anything! I mean I like anal...I like it a lot, but not when it feels like someone is trying to slice me open with a dull knife! So anyway, I guess reading this struck a chord with mayoj1 because apparently I gave him a boner. I was like "Yes! I gave Jesus a fucking boner! I am the shit!" What I'm trying to get accross here is that I'm sorry to all of you whom I have given boners to. That's just what I do, and I'm damn good at it! And remember everyone: LUBRICATION IS THE KEY!!

I was thinking about sex, which occurs very often throughout my day, and I started to wonder what it might be like in bed with some of the people on here. After much thought about several people including, but not limited to, WhyNot, ENWILSON, rkuzdas, godlovesdemeter, and even some women like webb1704, Alishaab, and killerisme107, I came to the conclusion that a threesome with bluenote67 and Ellimem might be fun! My main reasoning behind this being their personalities on Ebaum's of course. It just seems to me that perhaps they would do dirty things to me and call me bitch, and that has the potential to be a very good time.

So, what I would like to ask everyone is this: Based solely on their Ebaum's personality, who would you choose to have a threesome with and why?

Yesterday the damn machine wouldn't take my money. It just kept spitting it back out. I'm so thirsty right now! I pray to the soda God. "Oh great and powerful soda machine! Please accept my dollar today!" I put my dollar in the slot. It accepts it right away. Now I push the button to recieve my icy cold sweet relief. Nothing. I push it again. Still nothing. "Oh God! Please don't take my money!" I push the coin return button. Nothing. "No! No, no, no!! That's my last dollar!" I try it again. It's as if the machine refuses to even acknowledge that I put money in. "Come on! What am I supposed to do now?!" At this point I'm beginning to get very upset. "I'm dying here! Give me my damn drink or money...anything!!" I could just leave a note for the vendor and get my money back sometime within the next week, but what good is that going to do me right now?! I yell at the machine. "You f*cking piece of sh*t! Give me my damn drink!" I hit the machine. My hand hurts now. "Damn you! You stupid son of a b*tch!!" I star ... Read more ...