So this is a true story that happened to me a few years ago and to this day i still get grief from my friends about it.

So i'll set the scene, i am in college and me and some mates go on a trip organised by the law faculty to go to London. On this trip we were to see the houses of parliament, some courts etc etc. The usual college-trip stuff. The real reason we went however was for the night life and the drinks. We all took vodka and beer with us and most of that had disappeared by the time we had arrived by train in the capital. So we spend our first day walking around London, sampling the sights and nipping in every pub we had the opportunity to for a quick jar. That night we went to the comedy store, where Rich Hall was performing amongst others. It was a good night and we all went back to our hotel in Camden in a good mood, except one of our friends who got arrested and another who got lost for about 4 hours and spent about £80 trying to get back. Anyway back to my story, when we ... Read more ...

Sometimes when you cry, no-one sees your tears.

Sometimes when you are in pain, no-one sees your hurt.

Sometimes when you are happy, no-one sees your smile.

But try having a wank on the bus and you'll be AMAZED at how much attention you'll get.

p.s. can you pick me up from the police station?

So i've recently-ish bought an Xbox 360 and i'm wondering how i can connect to Xbox live. I'm not the best person to tackle 'technical issues' when it comes to computers, so i thought someone else may be able to help? At my house i have wireless broadband so i know if i wanted to connect directly i would need a wireless network adapter. However, is there any way in which i could use my laptop as a network adapter? I realise that to the computing-type person i may have just asked a ludocrous question, but as i say computers and the set-up of such things aren't exactley my strong point. So can anyone help- clear language would be appreciated.

Thanks jmc1.

16: Sibling abuse-

Cornering your younger brother, pulling his shirt up over his face and slapping him around the side of the head. And then doing it harder. And keep on slapping him until he's crying and disorientated and saying ''I don't like this.... i can smell colours''. Just because you're bored.

15: Making machine gun noises while wielding an umbrella-

See also: screwing your pool cue together like it's an M82A1 high-velocity sniper rifle and you've been charged with the task of disposing of the corrupt president of Mauritania and the loose-lipped, high-class girl posing as his wife.

14: Getting erections in public-

Mmm. Lovely sleepy bus journey to work. Got the good seat over the wheel arch. And look- there's the local nursing students, out jogging for whoa! Where ... Read more ...