We just got word from the doctor. Kevin just came out of surgery, and everything went very well.
The doctors are still unsure about if the bleeding in his brain was caused from direct trauma, or from the insect that was found buried deep inside his brain, which was most likely placed inside his ear "Wrath Of Kahn" style.
We plan on filing for an investigation to see if Kahn's whereabouts are known.
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNN!!!!!!!!!
I just got a few minutes ago from my aunt. She just informed me that my parents were involved in a car accident and we aren't sure if my little brother will make it.
Of all the fucking people, it had to be my best friend and the only man I could ever trust. I'm grateful to God that my parents are all right for the most part, but my mother just can't stop crying.....
I'm gathering up my wife and daughter and driving to Connecticut in ten minutes. I'm sorry, but I just can't write anymore. I talk about my family so much on this website, and the idea of it now just makes me sick. I love you all, but this is goodbye. I'm sorry it couldn't have been under better circumstances.
Farewell. ~ Matt Maiorano
Those of you who might remember me know that I work as a sales representative in a less than reputable part of Pittsburgh.
As a keyholder, any time I'm closing for the store, I also have to drop off the deposit. The bank is located a short walk away. I just have to cross a parking lot in order to get there. I've never really been hassled before while doing it, though I've always felt a little nervous being one of the few white guys in town with a big wad of cash hanging out of my back pocket.
As it turns out, it finally happened. A couple of guys were waiting over by the deposit box where I drop everything off. I paused, rethinking the circumstances, and they began to walk towards me. Running was out of the question. I had to do something I never expected I would do.
One of them reached out to grab me by the shoulder as I was walking in their direction.
"Where is it, faggot?" One of them started.
"About eight-fifteen." I responded while ducking around his arm.
I've found myself on several occasions fantasizing wondering about what it would be like if I were flexible enough to give myself a blowjob.
I'll be the first to admit..... I tried, and I think I ended up bursting the blood vessels in my eyes after the strain of trying to pull off such a maneuver. I'd imagine it would be a lot easier if I weren't hung like a coffee can, but I digress.
One pulled hamstring, two broken coffee tables, one soiled set of underwear, and a sprained ankle later, I began to consider the ramifications of such an act. Had I been able to pull it off, it certainly would have made for a hell of a conversation. But any conversation like that will inevitably boil down to one topic. It doesn't matter how you describe the various intricacies of actually GETTING your own dick in your mouth, somebody will always ask:
Is it gay to give yourself a blowjob?
The thought in and of itself is one of life's riddles that has eluded even the greatest of min ... Read more ...
It's not every day that we meet a celebrity.
I never thought I would be the kind of guy who could ever really be star-struck at all. I figured I was too cool and too level-headed for that sort of thing. However, during a vacation in the Bahamas a few years ago, I found that not only am I susceptible to the charms and glamour of celebrities, but I am also a bumbling idiot.
Meet Terry Bollea. Many of you might know him as 'Hulk Hogan'.
He's famous for his role in professional wrestling, as well as his cameos in such movies as Gremlins 2, and his part as Thunderlips in Rocky III. This man is the epitome of badass. And there he was, in all of his manly glory, sitting at the hotel bar pounding back a Budweiser.
Jesus, this guy was fucking huge. I bet one of his farts could snap me in half. I was nervous as hell just seeing him there. I knew I had to talk to him. It was a once-in-a-lifetime chance to meet one of the biggest wrestling icons in history.
But damn, what th ... Read more ...
