I just happen to be an expert. Make sure i didn't type this for nothing. Use it whenever you can! =)
Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
Finish the 99 green bottles song.
Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song.
Leave your indicator (turn signal) on for fifty miles.
Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin.
When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
Name your dog "Dog".
Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Hairdryer:
Do not use while taking a shower.
Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.
Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness
Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only. (What else is there?)
Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.
Children's Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
Rowenta Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.
Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold
American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.
500-piece puzzle:
Some assembly required.
Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop ... Read more ...
