Fill in your own blank if you want, but I'll tell you why I'm a huge loser.

At the top of my screen, I just saw an ad that one of the greatest shit-shows ever produced is coming to DVD.

That's right: Rocket Robin Hood is coming to DVD!!! Crappy cartoon fans rejoice!

This show was years before my time---it actually ended it run thirteen years before I was born---but it was still one of my favorites as a kid. I didn't know it was a Canadian show until we moved here and saw it was on a ton of channels at un-godly hours of the morning. (Filling those Canadian Content laws no doubt.) I remember watching it early mornings back home in England, thinking it was just some really lame yet comforting American show. (Like you guys could create something this fantastic...should have known better.)

For anyone unfamiliar with Rocket Robin Hood, it was pretty much what it sounds like: a  re-telling of the Robin Hood story set in the future. Robin and his merr ... Read more ...

I've come to the sad realization that I'm slowly turning into an old fucker. And not the cool, drinkin' Jack straight from the bottle, punching out ninjas and pissing about on the internet old fucker who demands respect ('Bohank'), but rather the crusty and constantly pissed-off one who has nothing to do come 10:00 at night but to heat a glass of milk and listen to some Benny Goodman in his 'relaxation pants' (...I'll bet you shits thought Wallboy's name was going to be in this bracket; for shame! He's a decent guy!).

Thus, in order to fight this horrible, horrible, horrible.... yet inevitable... feeling from becoming a reality, I've decided to step-up my Canadian A-Game (Eh-Game?) and find some sweet-ass hobby to fill my time. This past week I've been checking out some local events in the paper and online for something fun to fill the time, but thus far have come up short.

The main problem is that any of the really cool ones (hockey league, poker groups, bowling team, orgy, ... Read more ...

I've gotten a few messages on my douchebag crusade to put a stop to kid-jokes on this site. Most were simply inquisitive; a few were poor attempts at insults, (FYI--if you're going to call me names, at least spell it right. 'Faggot' has two 'g's and 'asshole' is all one word), and others were whole-out confusing. (You know who you are....)

You might wonder yourself why I give a shit. (Or not....whatever.) I've only disclosed this to one other person here, not giving a shit enough to let the rest of you peek at my inner demons enough to get to know the cockbag behind the keyboard. So, in an attempt to (1) stop the disgusting kid-kill jokes, and (2) stop the onslaught of similar questions to my inbox, I've decided to put it in writing.

This isn't easy to write; fuck know's it shouldn't be. The reason behind my 'douchebag crusade' is, quite simply, very personal. I'm not a fan of the kid-death gags because I've had to endure the loss of a child in my lifetime.

A ... Read more ...

Hey kids.

Seeing as the majority of you possess a sick and twisted sense of humor, I'm in need of a little help in picking out a costume idea for Halloween. Now, keeping in mind that I'll be walking door to door with my daughter, any suggestions of dressing as a giant phallus or a gruesome monster are out of the question. (Don't want to warp the little lass until she's at least five.) What 'm looking for is a costume that will stand out as original, but still be simple enough to toss together and be mobile in.

Again, for the sake of Blue, I'm going to stress the "no giant phallus" statement.

Here's what's been proposed thus far: my sister and my best friend/her boyfriend (weird, right?!?) have decided they want to come walk the neighbourhood with the kid and I. My sister is super jazzed about this idea she had of us all dressing up in a theme. The only thing she seems set on going out as is a "Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog" themed costume set. (For those of ... Read more ...

Hey gang. It's been a while since I've actually written something on here. All the political talks and such has left a distasteful sour in my mouth. That, and I'm Canadian, so....yeah....unless the conversations stir towards free health-care or maple syrup, I've got nothing useful to say.

So, in the spirit of not giving a fuck about political issues (at least south of the border), I've decided to steer this trainwreck towards something the slightest bit more entertaining: Halloween.

Now, I've never been much for holidays of any sort. Halloween used to rank among my most hated, actually. But, since the kid is now old enough to have a vague concept of what it is and what happens, I've taken a renewed interest in the event. This week we went to a pumpkin patch to pick our pumpkins, a Halloween farm thing with hay-rides and gimmicky stuff for the younger ones, and, of course, costume shopping. It's actually been a lot of fun seeing her get excited about something she only has th ... Read more ...