Normally I don't do faggy stuff with my girlfriend. I don't

watch chick flicks, I won't go to the mall with her to

"..just look around," and I have never taken her, or ANY chick to see

The Nutcracker. (title of THAT shit says it all)

Anyway, Girlfriend has a second job selling tickets at a local venue and

scored two free tickets to Duran Duran. She was going to

take our gay friend, Kevin, but he blew her off the day of

the concert. (gay...blew her off...see what I did there?)

Because it was last minute, she was also turned down by 2

friends, her sister, and her parents. Sheeesh...can't imagine

why no one would want to go see such legends.

I started feeling sorry for her as concert time rolled around

because (and I know this is really gay) I love that girl. I

finally capitulated and told her I would go if I could first

stop at the liquor store and get a "couple miniatures" of

tequila. ... Read more ...

A female relative of mine posted one of those stupid copypasta quotes as her profile on facebook tonight. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that have a message about friendship or motherhood or breast cancer.

BTW, is EVERY month now fucking breast cancer awareness month? Does it not seem like there's a year-round pink-a-thon? Anyway...

Here's what she posted as her stupid fucking status:

I AM A HANDFUL! Unfortunately most women WON'T repost this. I'm strong willed, independent, a bit outspoken, and I tell it like it is. I make mistakes, I am sometimes out of control & and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as Hell .........don't deserve me at my best. If you ............are a HANDFUL, repost

Why is it that chicks think it's cool to be a mouthy bitch? Like being an opinionated, high- maintenance cunt is someho ... Read more ...

I've pretty much stopped blogging on here and almost never post vids or galleries. I hardly watch EBW media either. I go through phases. I have been mostly spending time inside my head, thinking up stupid shit like:

-Japan is way far ahead of us in cell phone technology. I guess the next step is a phone that you talk into which then turns into a robot dragonfly that flies to your friends and delivers the message.

-How come every time I call a business the automated voice tells me to please listen carefully as their menu has changed? Shut up you self-important recordings. You think I actually had the OLD menu memorized? Lick me, bitch. 

-I got kicked off the debate team for overuse of the phrase, "Fraid SO!!!"

-If I owned a business I would hire a black "IT" guy. He couldn't fix the computers if they broke but he could steal us some new ones...

-Why do Asians eat such weird shit?

-A chick told me my dick was like ... Read more ...

Fucking six-fucking-thirty-AM and I can't sleep. WTF? I normally drink myself into a blissful, have-to-pee-but-too-lazy-to-get-up-and-do-it sleep every night but tonight the booze isn't working and the sun's coming up and I can't fucking sleep.

I have all this stupid shit going through my head (aside from the usual, "Who-would-I-kill-if-given-a-free-pass? shit that normally swims in the fetid piss-pond that is my brain) like:

*There was an ad on TV saying you can join a class action lawsuit if, "...you or someone you know has suffered a heart attack or sudden death," after taking a diabetes medication. REALLY? If I suffered sudden death I can sue the drug company?

*Among the tools on a survival knife I bought are a phillips head screwdriver and bottle opener. I guess if I'm ever stranded in the wilderness with the knife I can open any wild bottles of soda or open any wildlife battery compartments I find. Useful shit!

*Why are the original theatrical trailers for movies considere ... Read more ...

eBones, eReps....Call me an eTard but I am a bit pissed.

I don't have a problem with the switchover to eBones from eReps. New management to ANY business has a right to change whatever it likes about the "Old System."

That being said, where's my Xbox? When I cashed in my eReps, the eStore was still represented as being legit. (Fuck... I sound like a sparkling wiggle.)

I'm pissed because when my awsomely great, Supermanian-level, jizz-spasm-inducing material started to be featured here, the lie of the eStore was still being represented as truth.

I won't lie. eReps weren't the sole reason I spent hours compiling original galleries, making Demotivators, editing videos, etc. I liked seeing my shit on the front page so the New-Feature Fags could gather via the "Refrash Dildozer Chat Engine," and keep my shit relevant.

If my uploads had simply been rehashed, stolen Youtube or Break vids, I wouldn't care so much but I had two features of original cartoon ... Read more ...