Anyone who used to read my blogs knows that I pretty much hate everything because if there's one thing I've learned in life it's that pretty much everything sucks!

Soccer sucks. Living in Seattle I watched the MLS championship game tonight. The MLS championship (LA vs. Salt Lake City) was held in Seattle. The MLS championship game is like the Superbowl of soccer but unless you live in Salt lake City, LA, or Seattle you wouldn't know that because soccer sucks.

The game was tied at a phenomenal score of 1-1 after 90 minutes of regulation play. In soccer the time starts at zero and runs UP to 90 minutes. WTF? Excitement, be it a NASA launch, a ticking time bomb, a microwaved baked potato, or any NORMAL FUCKING SPORTS GAME is built by the countDOWN.

You know... 5...4...3...2...AND THE CROWD GOES CRAZY!!!!

Not soccer. Soccer is not sucky enough in and of itself so to make it suck mor ... Read more ...

I haven't blogged in a while and I hardly ever log on to EBW but  had to vent about something.

As I sat at my local tire center having a nail removed from my tire, the Ellen show was on their TV. I wasn't paying much attention to the inane yap-yap-yapping of Mr. Degeneres and his mindless guests then something caught my eye. They were showing a cop chase video and, being a dude, I was interested. When the car stopped, a msall boy got out from behind the wheel and ran from the fat cop who had been in pursuit.

Dykie McHomely was talking to the father of the kid. The boy was 7, had taken his mom's car for a joyride, and ran from the pigs. The mood was one of joviality and light-heartedness. They brought out the boy, a spiked-hair little faggot who mugged and waved to the audience of fat, stay-at-home welfare slobs, bulldykes, and various white trash daytime TV watchers, who cheered as if he were just the funniest little kid! The little dickhead was flashing back-atcha's and various thum ... Read more ...

Last weekend my neighborhood held, what the signs posted everwhere touted as, "The Mother of all Garage Sales!" The MOAGS was actually a bunch of people who decided to hold yard sales on the same day; a kind of Shit-We-Don't-Want-Mega-Lo-Mart.

I didn't visit any of them as I have recently moved in with my GF and we now have too much of our OWN shit we don't want, but at least I couldn't drive in my own neighborhood as every car was driving fucking 15mph so as not to zoom by a potential treasure. I doubt there were any original Monets or Tiffany lamps for two bucks. Instead, the offerings were almost certainly the standard, dirty, white-trash junk found at ordinary, run-of-the-mill shit sales every weekend.

That led me to think of all the marred, smelly, crap that people think someone else will want. You see it all the time at rummages and it is usually the same:

-VCR's. Like anyone who still watches VHS tapes is in need of a 34lb. 1985 ... Read more ...

It's fucking hot in Seattle. We are in the middle of an unprecedented heat wave. 103F. That sets a record for the hottest day in RECORDED HISTORY. We had the hottest temp in the country. (Well... that's what a friend told me and this is the internet so I don't need to check my facts)

People in Arizona, NM, Florida, ets are saying, "Yeah... so fucking what. WAAAH!" You are right to do so. In Seattle we are a bunch of whiny cunt-bitches. Ask Rednote; he used to live here. We complain about smokers, polluters, bicycle-riders, noise...We will whine about snow, in fact, I wrote a whine blog about it in December.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/user/blog/ugdork/view=80469955

So... anyway, we decided to rent a hotel with AC as we have not slept a decent night's sleep in days. We were not alone. Seattle folk don't have AC because we may need it 3 days max per year. Hence, all the medium-to-nice hotels are packed. WAAAAAH!

Here is a link to a 20-question AA test to "Help you decide if you have an alcohol problem." 

http://www.step12.com/alcoholic-20-questions.html

Read it if you like but it asks if you have ever lost your memory because of booze or if you've ever drank alone or if drinking boosts your confidence and similar "Duh" questions. According to the test, if you answer just on question with a yes you might be an alcoholic. Three yes answers means you ARE an alcoholic. I answered yes to more than that. Figures.

I don't think that test accurately determines if you are a REAL alcoholic. I have created my own test to see if you are a REAL alcoholic. Here are my 20 questions. Be truthful with yourself. If you answer yes to ALL 20 then you are a full blown drunk. Any less than that and you don't have to worry.

1. Have you ever drank so much to get courage to talk to someone you wanted to bang that you puked and totally blew ANY ... Read more ...