my eyes open to the sound of my engine dying, the slight sensation that my left arm may be missing.

what the fuck

i had just gotten off of work and was taking a different way home then i normally take, when i look to my right and see a guy in a white suv barrelling toward me. BAAAAAMMMMM!!! i can feel the metal of my jeep tear from the sides as the tires make the cry of pain as they circle 3 times struggling to keep to the pavement. the sensation in my body tells me im going to be flipping at any moment.....then nothing.

the gayest music in the world to listen to as you encounter a red light runner doing 65 in a 35 = jack johnson = me and my night on tuesday after work.

i had every intention of checking out if the local diner would be open 24/7 in order to meet a fellow late night worker for breakfast/dinner (whoever you want to call it). i deviated from my norm...i am by all accounts a creature of habit (and sometimes a boring one at that). i was 2 min from my work. i was total ... Read more ...

short and sweet. but a blog none the less

so i was headed out to do the traditional elbow to ribs shopping for my son's halloween costume...this year he says "mom i have to be a clone" with eyes as soft and loving as a deer, how could i say no. so in my infinite wisdom (proof im getting old...like i needed more) say "a clone of what?????" hahahaha. i was then schooled by my son of what a clone is and what they do in regards to star wars. and as you can gather, star wars, was all i took from the converstation....oh and that i "HAD TO HAD TO" get him the blaster gun that goes with it.

drop him off at school and call my now pregnant friend laura. now calling a pregnant friend to go shopping is a not always a great idea but the chance to stop for drinks and forgetting to do the shopping part could not be an option so i chose well. she agrees, saying she has to do the same for her daughter who apparently wants to be 80's madonna for halloween. i ask what the hell the difference is from what her da ... Read more ...

yes its that time of year again. 'the semi annual job change for beth'. But this time proved to be expecially sweet..."why?" you ask. well as some of you know i have been helping one of my best friends' run his new front sales office. so i got canned by my best friend hahahaha.

its been 6 months, my average maximum time allowence for any job. AND well that and the girl that works up front with me, we kinda got into it the other day. we had gotten off to a nice enough start...beer at the bowling alley across the street. ya know real classy after work shit haha. but blah blah blah time happened and now she bugs the shit out of me. everyday its a god damn soap opera with this bitch. im talking full on dramatic pauses, fake tears and everything. i kinda relate my irritation with her to my irritation with Plat...she bugs me about the same....maybe thats why i pick on Plat so much (if your expecting an apology -DONT- and ill explain why in a bit.

little FYI...wednesday was supposed to be my last da ... Read more ...

i must say that im happy about all the amazing blogs this morning its like sitting down to hot chocolate and cake in the morning. devine....with the sense of childhood wrong doing, secretly wishing your grandmother would pop her head in and say "ohhh i cant believe your eating that crap for breakfast??!!" and you just smile on the inside and take another bite :)

***my deepest apologies to sjg....we apparently had the same day and wrote of it, i would have waited to post this now it seems a bit old news, kinda like showing up at the party with the same dress on***

now i have to admit that the following story is true and happened totally sober....honest :)

so my coffee table totally bit me the other day...big fucker jumped right out at me and took my ass down. bastard wasent messing around.

i was pretty amazed at its stealth moves im usually pretty good at navigating myself around my own apartment...i pride myself on my ability that no matter how fucked i am i wont take out my own ... Read more ...

im not sure weather it was the booze in little plasitc cups or the fact that we were drinking heavly, early, and in an airplane. but chris and i were quite beyond trashed by the time we stumbled into the st. louis terminal. thank god we didnt have any lay-overs because im postitive we would not have been allowed to reboard with our bloody mary stained lips.

our only goal on this trip was to have the best st. patricks day ever!!! period!!!

we decided against running to the turn stiles to wait with the "others" for our luggage. opting for the closest bar. :) we downed a couple gin and tonics and inquired of local breweries worth visiting. we left laughing and singing loudly to look for our unclaimed bags. our luggage looked disapointed with our choice to not retrieve them right away, they had the UNCLAIMED orange sticker stuck to the tags showing our obvious lack of care.

also left behind in our obvious 'devil may care' attitude was our local mutual friend caroline. who had apparently be ... Read more ...