So halloween is tomorrow. Oh joy. My buddy invited me to come up to his college and go to what hopefully is crazy, drunken mess of a college party. He also told me i need a costume. Fuck, That was my one word reaction. So i went and fucked the first girl i saw. I didnt but i was pissed. I thought i was done with costumes when i was 12 and dressed up as Adolf Hitler. But back to the story, i need a fuckin costume.

I head on over to the party city down the block. I hop in my truck and drive down the block. My heart is set on a gorilla suit because i feel that has long term value. I could  dress in it when i get hammered and throw shit at people. I mean literally, throw feces at people because Hey, im a fuckin gorilla. I get to the parking lot and you would think that party city was giving away the winning lottery numbers and rim jobs. The parking lot is about the size of a quarter of a football field and people are driving like theyre fuckin Dale Earnhardt. Not Dale Jr. the original Dale Sr. who didnt ... Read more ...

The following blog was my second post here on ebaumsworld. The bloggers from te past found it pretty funny and the comments were all positive. Im posting this basicly to see what you people think and to see if the views from past bloggers differ from yours.

This story is 100% kind of true.

Theres this kid who lives down the block from me whose name is John. He is obsessed with the army so much that hes always in his backyard practicing and shit like rolling around on the ground with his toy gun.He only wears one type of clothes. Not nike or something normal like most 18 year olds, he only wears camoflauge. Hes been wearing camoflauge since he was probably born.Every time i see him, hes wearing camflauge head to toe. Even his fucking socks are camo. He did sign up for the marines so i cant say hes just a homo who practices drills in his backyard while his sisters kick his ass and rape him but hes still gay. He says things like "sup brah", "got heart problems but i still smoke.....wee ... Read more ...

So ive stopped taking sleeping pills a.k.a. bong hits, before heading to bed and realized that falling asleep is nearly impossible which might explain why im up right now writing a blog. Yeah, fuck me right?

But anyways this brings me to a solid point my roomates and I concluded. My former roomate was a genius, he's like a plus size einstein and my friend whos still my roomate is a little on the helen keller side. So my smart friend says one night that he has trouble sleeping and he thinks its because he's always thinking because thats what smart people do, they think, i guess. I make a comment on his arrogance and the three of us continue watching tv. We're talking, joking around and all of a sudden my slower roomate is passed out snoring. Keep in mind its a little late and my living room isnt really big at all. Also, we were all just talking. In fact, i just got done laughing at one of my slow roomates jokes when i realized he was sleeping.

A thought then runs through my head about what my ... Read more ...

Does anybody else realize that us bloggers are the only original thing on ebaumsworld? This is a humor site most known for stealing media. Hell, ebaumsworld is so hated that they there is a website called ebaumsworldsucks.com. Any media found on ebaums can be found on break.com about a day before but there is one thing that gives ebaumsworld some credit, the blog section.

The blog section is the only original thing on ebaumsworld if you think about it. We arent stealing other sites shit but instead, just thinking of original, fucked up shit off the top of our heads to write about in hopes of either sparking a debate or making people laugh. So here is to all of you who make up the blog section, good job.

Ive got no fuckin clue why i sensed a need to blog about this and really feel regret that im going to hit the post buttton.

I live in an apartment so these people 4 groups of people live in the same building as me so not sure if you still call them neighbors but who gives a fuck anyways. There are 4 apartments and i occupy one. The other 3 are all basicaly fucked situations.

To my right, we got these 3 people in there 20's. First is the little leader kid. At first glance, you would think he was a homeless elf. He's about 5'1 and looks Rufus from Bumfights. Now Rufus was the fucking man but this kid, not so much. This kids clothes are as wrinkled as nancy reagans pussy and he smells like dead cats. Then you have this girl who looks like a little globe. She's like 5'3 and is nice and round. Like a bowling ball except i wouldnt stick my fingers anywhere near those holes. Her hair is like blond and i think it falling out. Bitch is kind of scary and looks like a crack addicted tiger. Then you have my personal favorite, the kid who is always wearing dragon button down shirts that are red and blue with chinese symbols and shit. ... Read more ...