Born smack dab in the county seat of Hudspeth County, Texas on the same exact day as Nic Cage*. Daddy was a preacher and lion tamer who, on account of a major shortage of lions and religious feelings, worked as a gas station attendant. Mama worked as a greeter at the local hardware store, but this was long before being a greeter was a paid position, so much of her work was what folks in Texas call, “loitering.”

Ever since I was a baby, I could talk to carts. In fact, growing up, carts was