Greetings and salutations. Grab a chair, help yourself to a little brandy, and listen to my story. I grew up as a fairly sheltered child; enjoying the simplicity of chutes and ladders, cops and robbers. Frolicking in the grass, running from the girls eschewing love notes and merciless kisses. Then, one disconsolate day, I discovered the world. Set upon my own devices, with nothing more than a naive background of religion and advanced learning classes for the geekiest of geeks, I set out to forge my own trail in the world. Thus began my illuminating descent into the machination of malfeasance and dereliction. I uncovered a world of depravity, debauchery, contamination, degeneracy... vice. I found I very much liked this new world. I found control, an ascendancy into a type of dynamism for within which I was good at. Very good. I found a sadistic happiness, existentialistic values and loves, interdicted dealings of contraband, and quite significantly, a small empire from within I sat upon the throne. Eventually the heat became decalescent, nearly parching my few years of ecstatic freedom into a dry riverbed of misdirected dreams. Thus, I decided to forgo all the monetary and regent luxuries of a life of psuedo crime. I settled down, attempting to find a more legal niche in life. I've found I am a very sociable person that sincerely enjoys helping others. This, in fact, took a few years to realize; I had already developed this talent, albeit it was slightly perversed. I am overall quite simple. I now have quite the smart little daughter, more than a few bitter exes, and the experience of someone whom I barely recognize. I am now a happy geek that enjoys the occasional wild party, in-depth conversation, and the ever popular DeMotivational Posters.
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