mjp124's Submissions
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- What's the difference between a 2 year old and a sandwich? I don't rape a sandwich before I eat it
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From: mjp124
Views: 590
Comments: 7
Favorited: 0
Added: 174 weeks ago
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- Math is like sex... You subtract the clothes, Divide the legs, Add your solution, And pray you don't multiply.
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From: mjp124
Views: 7,624
Comments: 4
Favorited: 1
Added: 175 weeks ago
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- A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital. The doctor looked her over and told them it would be a rather difficult delivery. He offered to let the...
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From: mjp124
Views: 628
Comments: 1
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- Burford is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room isn't working, so he bolts down to use the...
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From: mjp124
Views: 696
Comments: 1
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- A man walks into a bar and immediately realizes its a gay bar. He thinks to himself I'm not gay but I really want to to drink so he walks up to the...
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From: mjp124
Views: 832
Comments: 1
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- This man is walking down the road and hears someone crying. He stops and looks over the fence and sees a woman without any arms or legs crying beside...
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From: mjp124
Views: 792
Comments: 4
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk out of these we could sell the...
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From: mjp124
Views: 763
Comments: 1
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- A man walks into a bank, and after waiting for 20 minutes in line, he goes straight to a customer service rep. and says, "Hey, lady, I got this here...
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From: mjp124
Views: 1,192
Comments: 4
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived...
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From: mjp124
Views: 1,387
Comments: 5
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he...
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From: mjp124
Views: 788
Comments: 5
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- I dont think thats chocolate
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From: mjp124
Views: 260
Comments: 1
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- What's long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine
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From: mjp124
Views: 531
Comments: 7
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- You cant do that.
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From: mjp124
Views: 910
Comments: 1
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- When you have enough camel points
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From: mjp124
Views: 258
Comments: 0
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, "I was cleaning in Father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of...
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From: mjp124
Views: 3,039
Comments: 3
Favorited: 1
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- A woman walks into the store and purchases the following: 1 small box of detergent 1 Bar of soap 3 individual servings of yogurt 2 oranges 1...
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From: mjp124
Views: 511
Comments: 1
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- The FBI is considering three men to be hired. They bring them in to speak with the interviewer separately. The first man comes in and sits down. The...
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From: mjp124
Views: 689
Comments: 1
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow,...
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From: mjp124
Views: 817
Comments: 2
Favorited: 1
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name. "Yeah...
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From: mjp124
Views: 828
Comments: 2
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- The queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was...
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From: mjp124
Views: 930
Comments: 1
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks,...
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From: mjp124
Views: 561
Comments: 1
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire...
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From: mjp124
Views: 474
Comments: 0
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism...
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From: mjp124
Views: 522
Comments: 1
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She...
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From: mjp124
Views: 430
Comments: 3
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
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- As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a...
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From: mjp124
Views: 315
Comments: 2
Favorited: 0
Added: 188 weeks ago
- mjp124
- Last login: 56 weeks ago
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- User Since: Oct 12, 2008
- Uploads: 92
- Media Watched: 2,688
- Media Favorited: 0
Points and Levels
- eRep Points: 26,472
- Reputation Level: Tadpole
Milestones
- Featured Media: 0
- Profile Views: 8,501
- Subscribers: 1
