Let’s be honest, most Christians haven’t read the Bible, and why should they? Half of it is a false retelling of history with strict meal planning sprinkled in, and the other half follows a group of incels giving TED Talks in the desert.

So, before you call the Bible verse-posting account, Holy Bible blasphemous for making up fake Bible verses, maybe it’s time the good book got a facelift. If the church wants to reinvigorate the youth with the word of God, it needs to reframe Jesus’ teachings in a language young people can understand.

Take, for example, John Chapter 11, Verse 35, the shortest verse in the Bible. Currently it reads, “Jesus wept,” but in the new version it could say, “Jesus simped.”