After nearly five years, four kids (two of which stemmed from an inter-office affair) one weird Communist Manifesto photo-op and the absolute booty call banger of “4 ÆM,” Elon ‘Space Karen’ Elon Musk is finally getting over Grimes …using a weirdly Aryan Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez as his rebound.
On Monday, March 6, Musk took a break from his busy schedule of destroying Twitter and hosting what may possibly be the most ADA-violating real-time exit interview in the history of capitalism to be horny on main, detailing how badly he’d like to take out a blonde-hair blue-eyed version of the AOC. “Elon, when’s the date with AOC?,” asked @Teslaconomics alongside the suspiciously Eva Braun-ified Ocasio-Cortez photos.
Instead of ignoring this bizarre inquiry from a page that unironically shares posts stating “I bet you’ve never seen a sexier wheel than the Cybertruck wheel,” Musk decided to take the — once again, strangely pale — bait.
Alas she would never date me I’m not cool enough— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) March 7, 2023
“Alas she would never date me,” Musk replied, before boasting that he’s “not cool enough” to court AOC. We know, Elon. We know.
Though we may now know for certain that Musk and Ocasio-Cortez won’t be an item any time soon, one question remains — How did she manage to film Dune 2 with her busy Congresswoman schedule?