Days after Goop overlord Gwyneth Paltrow sparked internet ire after getting a bit too candid about her diet — one evidently consisting of bone broth, air, and more bone broth — it seems a new, morbid curiosity has taken TikTok by storm: Could Paltrow survive eating normal foods?
Over the weekend, TikToker @heartthrobert attempted to discover just that, taking to his platform of more than two million followers with a new game: “Would this ordinary thing kill Gwyneth Paltrow.”
Fully armed with a “kill scale” ranging from “the safe zone,” consisting of “her holy trinity” of “bone broth, black coffee and intravenous fluids” — to “instant death,” — a category filled with ultra-processed foods prompting Paltrow to not only die but create a “black hole in the universe.”
@heartthrobert Replying to @gigi_19896 #gwynethpaltrow #goop #erewhon ♬ original sound - Rob Anderson
Though @heartthrobert asserted that Paltrow could, in fact, survive eating a Fig Newton, though “she would not be the same after,” such odds do not apply to grocery store sugar cookies, a McDonald’s Shamrock Shake and even standing “a restraining order’s distance” from a Krispy Kreme doughnut.
RIP Gwyneth Paltrow, you would have loved those Cheeto mac and cheese things.