Despite emotional denunciations of y2K tabloid culture, Cara Cunningham’s infamous viral plea, and like, the entire goddamn point of the Blackout album, it seems Britney Spears fans — famous and not — are still somehow baffled by one simple concept: Leaving Britney the fuck alone.
Earlier this week, Spears took a break from her busy schedule of reviving the smokey eye, twirling on Instagram and imploring her fans for a goddamn scrap of privacy to address a patronizing tweet from offensively bad Snooki cosplayer Alyssa Milano insisting that “someone please go check on Britney Spears.”
"It saddens me to see things about me from people who don't know me!!!" Spears wrote of Milano’s month-old in an Instagram Story on Tuesday, January 30. "This definitely feels like a form of bullying !!! Ladies, we are supposed to be rooting for one another not pulling one another down!!!"
Spears’ comments towards Milano — a divisive figure who boldly asks the question of “what if James Woods was a leftist Hot Girl™” — comes amid the Canadian tuxedo icon’s renewed battle for some fucking space and time away from the ever-speculating limelight.
Someone please go check on Britney Spears.— Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano) December 21, 2022
As baseless rumors that Spears was missing, dead or had been cloned continued to swirl — thanks B-Anon! — concerned fans took their worries to a whole new level last month, deploying deputies from the Ventura County sheriff’s office to the singer’s home after she committed the cardinal sin of deleting her Instagram.
“As everyone knows the police were called to my home based on some prank phone calls,” Spears wrote on Twitter as news of the wellness check began circulating online.
“I love and adore my fans but this time things went a little too far and my privacy was invaded,” she continued, detailing how authorities arrived at her front gate, “quickly realized there was no issue and left immediately.” “This felt like I was being gaslit and bullied once the incident made it to the news and being portrayed once again in a poor and unfair light by the media. During this time in my life, I truly hope the public and my fans who I care so much about can respect my privacy loving forward.”
To paraphrase the bard of the late 2000s, — Leave Britney Alone … even you, Alyssa Milano.