We’re only three days into daylight saving time, and the seasonal depression is beginning to loom heavy. Google searches for “seasonal depression” have begun their annual climb, and as the sun begins to set earlier and earlier, people are looking for ways to keep themselves sane (and full of vitamin D).

There are a few tried and true methods for fighting the winter sads: you can wake up early, exercise and get plenty of rest — all doctor-approved and helpful all year-round. Or,  like many bros are currently doing, you can swap out your seasonal depression lamps and red light therapy bulbs for chicken lamps.

Chicken lamps came in today.
Incubating until further notice pic.twitter.com/YLdIAwHPC4

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— ⚔️Noah Holmer⚔️ (@HolmerNoah) March 26, 2025

Although, according to Eviba Carter, a cancer immunologist and TikToker, there simply isn’t enough time in the day for chicken lamp therapy to actually provide you with the promised health benefits. In a TikTok, Carter claims that someone would need “55 hours” of direct chicken lamp exposure to achieve the same health benefits that come from “33 minutes” of exposure when using a “specialised LED panel.”

Which is to say, chicken lamps don’t work on people for one simple and very obvious reason: humans aren’t chicken eggs.

Duh!