'He’s Going Under the Jail': Man Jumps Judge During Sentencing
Upon hearing he was headed behind bars, Redden leaped over the bench, tackling Judge Holthus — and the flags perched behind her — to the ground, his fists and expletives flying akimbo.
Published 1 year ago in Wtf
Though Delone Redden may have recently pled guilty to a felony battery charge, he evidently failed to learn a lesson about solving problems with his fists rather than his words, proceeding to sack a Las Vegas judge who denied his probation.
The courtroom catastrophe all went down on Wednesday morning when Redden appeared in front of Nevada judge Mary Kay Holthus. Citing Redden’s past criminal record, Judge Holthus shared that she was going to give him "a taste of something else” for his sentence, a sentiment the evidently violence-prone man did not take kindly.
A man attacked a Las Vegas judge in her courtroom during his sentencing. The judge is reportedly OK. https://t.co/M1eA1VwOlPpic.twitter.com/HmdVpYpAhe
— philip lewis (@Phil_Lewis_) January 3, 2024
Upon hearing he was headed behind bars, Redden leaped over the bench, tackling Judge Holthus — and the flags perched behind her — to the ground, his fists and expletives flying akimbo.
After several moments, security officers managed to pry Redden off of the judge. She was later taken to the hospital for her injuries.
Bro attacked the judge
pic.twitter.com/U0zXRJCEJQ— Shannonnn sharpes Burner (PARODY Account) (@shannonsharpeee) January 3, 2024
While it appears Redden will likely be incarcerated for the foreseeable future — as one Twitter user put it, ”he’s going under the jail,” — we can only hope that there’s an NFL contract waiting for him upon his release.
Aella Girl’s 2023 Stats Are In: Two Fewer Poops (192), Same Number of Showers (37)
Have you ever wanted cold hard data on how much a complete stranger shits and showers?
Published 1 year ago in Funny
Have you ever wanted cold hard data on how much a complete stranger shits and showers? No? Well, you’re getting it anyway, thanks to a Twitter user who calls themselves a “survey artist.”
here we go again, my 2023 in stats. Image is my mood each day.
— Aella (@Aella_Girl) December 31, 2023
# of days in the year I ___
went outside: 248
socialized: 171
pooped: 192
worked: 162
took a stimulant: 71
drank alcohol: 121
danced: 65
had sex: 39
cried: 55
wrote: 38
gamed: 73
had a good meal: 53
showered: 37
1/ pic.twitter.com/Sjy6ygscIJ
Aella Girl has posted their stats for 2023, sharing a full breakdown of their 2023 in numbers with us, the internet. In 2023, they went outside on 248 out of 365 days, pooped on 192 days, worked on 162 days, drank alcohol on 121 days, showered on 37 days and masturbated on 32 days.
compared to last year, I seem to have been more 'productive' - more work, travel, socializing, and exercise, but less flourishing - less writing, art, and sex. I drank on more days (tho I usually only have 1 drink) and took fewer stimulants. https://t.co/5mpmhBrWgr
— Aella (@Aella_Girl) December 31, 2023
Comparing their numbers to 2022’s, they concluded that in 2023 they were more “productive” — aka spent more days working, traveling, socializing and exercising — but less “flourishing,” aka spending less time writing, making art and having sex. Amazingly, they showered the exact same number of times in both 2022 and 2023, and they clarified that they have “sensory issues around showering” instead preferring to “spot-wash and regularly use a bidet” while “check[ing] with brutally honest friends” for feedback about how they smell.
Obviously, most responses were from people alarmed by the small number of showers, while others were amazed that Aella doesn’t shit every single day, prompting Aella to ask them why they shit so much. Touché.
Having a day where you don’t leave the house at all is straight up insane person behavior. Genuinely can’t wrap my head around that
— ❥ ❥ (@tonyhawktruther) January 1, 2024
Aella’s stats — again, Aella only left the house on 248 days out of 365 (or 68 percent of the time) in 2023 — appeared to spark some discourse around whether it’s “insane person behavior” to have days where you don’t leave the house at all, with more than a few people arguing that fringe cases aside, if you don’t leave the house every day “there is something WRONG with you and MISSING from your LIFE!”
I, for one, am waiting to see if Aella has more good meals in 2024. Only 53 good meals in 2023 is an incredibly tragic and depressing number, even more so than the 55 days on which they cried.
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