Eight Porn Stars on the Do’s and Don’ts of Going Down on a Woman
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Published 6 months ago
In a 1999 episode of Sex and the City, frustrated lawyer Miranda Hobbes serves an immortal takedown of a guy she’s fucking: “What’s the big mystery? It’s my clitoris, not the sphinx!” More than two decades later, and many still haven’t mastered the humble art of cunnilingus. But unlike Egyptian mythology, there’s really no excuse for not knowing how to eat pussy.
This sex act isn’t just an appetizer, it can be a whole main course — especially if you do it right. The same can be said of rimming. The specifics are obviously different, but the same ethos applies — and when it comes to going down on your partner, it really is about ethos, not just anatomy.
And so, we gathered together some important do’s and don’t’s on eating out from a handful of porn’s hottest names. Communication is key — as we’ll learn, there’s no universal, fail-safe formula for great head — but there are a few other practical things to bear in mind when positioning yourself, mouth open, between your partner’s legs.
I love being eaten out — when it’s done right, it’s absolutely heavenly. The key is enthusiasm and communication. You don’t need to be a porn star to be good at it, you just need to want to be good at it. Take your time. Tease a little, explore and pay attention to how your partner is reacting. The biggest don’t? Don’t go in like you’re bobbing for apples. Slow down, keep it consistent, and for the love of all things sexy, don’t forget the clit!
Especially when I’m bottoming, getting a nice tongue deep inside me and naturally lubing up my butthole with spit makes me feel naughty, like a dirty little slut ready for more. For starters, I’d say enjoy yourself and start off slow. Don’t just stuff your tongue inside someone, work your way up to penetration and more intensity. Make love to my ass with that tongue, don’t force your way in without a little flirty invitation first.
Everyone is different and has their own thirst to be quenched. Eating out is just like sex, so treat it that way — be a giving partner, and don’t be selfish. Play into the vibe of the situation. It genuinely makes it much more intimate and hot — at least for me — to know my partners are enjoying themselves just as much as I am, if not more.
I love being eaten out and eating someone else out — it’s such a sensual experience to taste someone. A key “do” is to ask your partner what kind of touch they like: light, hard, circles, sucking, penetration? Communication, listening to your partner and knowledge of anatomy are so important. A big “don’t” is making orgasm the main goal. It’s about pleasure, and enjoying each other.
It’s so satisfying to eat someone out for a scene and have them achieve an authentic orgasm on-screen. As for being eaten out, I enjoy that too, as long as the person is good at it.
The key thing is to listen to your partner; everyone likes something different. Some people enjoy variety in motion, some enjoy a very specific rhythm and some just use cunnilingus as foreplay because they can’t achieve orgasm. Don’t make any assumptions, and don’t get butt-hurt about any feedback. The important thing is to have fun and build intimacy with your partner.
I do like getting oral, but take it slow. Approach my pussy like a delicious dessert. Kiss outside on the labia, inner thighs, all around the pussy; do it soft and slow, with erotic intention. Touch, but don’t insert yet — treat this as a soft, slow pussy massage, and when you hear your partner respond, slowly open the lips and begin to lick. Suck the clit like it’s a tiny dick; gentle at first, then harder, all the while asking your partner what feels good. Communication is key. For me, I like to focus on the clit, but give breaks here and there, as it can be too intense.
Don’t start fingering straight away, and don’t rush the pleasure of oral just so you can get your dick wet and cum — this is a selfish move that women won’t forget. Don’t give oral in silence, and don’t end it until your partner says so, or makes a move on you. Definitely don’t eat like you’re in a hot dog competition, and finally, it’s such a huge turn-off for me when guys brag about how good they are at eating pussy — I’m an individual woman and my pussy is mine, so putting me in a box with other women like that is ignorant and arrogant.
Don’t treat oral sex as “one-size-fits-all.” I’ll never forget, when eating a girl out during a threesome, she asked me to “slurp her clit like ramen noodles.” That would be way too much stimulation for me. Even though it’s such a silly anecdote, it reminds me of how different our bodies — and pussies — can be.
There’s nothing better than oral stimulation in the heat of the moment, but that doesn’t mean it’s always straightforward. Right off the bat, a big no-no is aggressive fingering, especially with long nails. Most people think adding a few fingers into oral stimulation enhances the experience, but that’s only if you do it right. Believe it or not, this is something most people outside the adult industry aren’t aware of, and it results in quite the painful experience.
As for the do’s, it sounds obvious, but people forget the basics of circular motions with the tongue. That gentle motion, stimulating the most sensitive parts of our bodies, is capable of giving some of the best orgasms possible. Bottom line, less is sometimes more.
Communicate with your partner on what she likes, and pay attention to her reactions. Go slow at first, don’t just rely on your mouth (hands can provide so much more stimulation) and add pressure to the G-spot. Be consistent, and stay attentive. Watch and listen out for body language, breathing and verbal cues, that way you’ll know what’s working.
As for what not to do, don’t dive in too fast. Don’t be rough without permission, don’t neglect the rest of your partner’s body and don’t ignore feedback, especially if she guides you or gives you hints. Finally, don’t assume all women like the same things because we don’t!
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