Billionaire Jeff Bezos Rides Penis-Shaped Rocket Into Space
Amazon founder/tech billionaire/possible supervillain Jeffrey Bezos made history today as he and a flight crew went into orbit on a rocket built by Bezos' aerospace venture, Bue Origin.
It's a memorable event to be sure, but possibly not in the ways Bezos had originally intended:
If you were making a black comedy about self-glorifying billionaire assholes, and you had a “space race” where no one actually went to space, and one of the rockets looked THIS MUCH like a giant, overcompensating penis- you’d say “nah, too on the nose.” pic.twitter.com/4OdThRDSCB— SPIRAL CURSE DEMARCO (@Clarknova1) July 20, 2021
“Let them eat cake” - while shooting into *almost* space on his penis rocket. pic.twitter.com/mIN5zPXeUg— Miss Recreate (@MRecreate) July 20, 2021
Dudes will literally launch penis-shaped rockets into space instead of going to therapy— Rampage (@realQrampage) July 20, 2021
To be fair, you can't be recently divorced, look that much like a scrotum, ride a giant d**k rocket, and then expect the internet NOT to come for you.
You can't unsee this, I'm not sorry.
The whole thing was made even more hilarious to gutter-minded, immature adults like myself by the fact that the rocket's exhaust trail had a distinctly pinkish hue to it.
Bezos flying off in a Penis rocket with pink bussy juice is the most 2021 thing Ive seen https://t.co/GSGpsdDeY8— meg (@meg_judd) July 20, 2021
People really seemed to have a hard-on about ridiculing this endeavor.
I didn’t know Bezo’s rocket had a light https://t.co/3RG5uPilOn— Black Yajirobe (@theanimebarber) July 19, 2021
Giant dick shot into space. And also a rocket that looked like a penis. https://t.co/dVoVBTkoby— Seth Cotlar (@SethCotlar) July 20, 2021
The comparisons to the famous rocket scene in 'Austin Powers' wouldn't stop coming.
Designer for Austin Powers 2: Man this penis rocket gag is so funny! Should we put a head on it?— ️⚧️ Kathryn Gibes DenFur ✨ (@TransSalamander) July 20, 2021
Other designer: Nah, we wanna keep that PG-13 rating after all
Jeff Bezos 20 years later: pic.twitter.com/kbYpnYVZ1y
wait… a penis rocket?? is he……………. doctor evil? pic.twitter.com/b352hclOH3— Fran Dorricott | Francesca May️ make it gayer (@franwritesstuff) July 20, 2021
I'm guessing it was a satisfactory flight because the landing capsule looked distinctly... glazed.
"Was it good for you too baby? I don't actually care."
Good on ya, Jeff! Way to prove to the world that you're definitely not a middle-aged man who has infinite resources to live out his midlife crisis!