A decade ago, it was trendy in the tech industry to be as young as possible. Venture capital was throwing money at any 19-year-old with an idea, and investors were promoting the idea of starting a company before getting any real world experience. Seems backwards to me, but I’m not rich — what do I know?

The problem is, young people get older. Now, those former teens are boring ol’ 20- and 30-somethings — and their “game-changing” AI programs are starting to sound a bit stupid.

Rather than look in the mirror and have a single moment of self-reflection, the blood-sucking psychos of the Valley have determined the best way to ensure their continual success is by pretending they haven’t aged at all.

Plastic surgery is on the rise among men in the Valley. Not only are these surgeries designed to make people look young and fundable, but to make people think that they’re still young enough to work in the stupidly fast-paced world of Silicon Valley.

But, if you ask me, maybe you *shouldn’t* look like a 25-year-old tech worker when you’re 53 — and you certainly shouldn’t be working the same hours.