Snoring Robber Caught After Taking Post-Cigarette Nap
Criminals these days ain’t what they used to be.
Published 1 year ago in Funny
Criminals these days ain’t what they used to be. While some still keep the spirit of crime alive by attempting at least a bit of derring-do (such as the guys who rappelled down into a car dealership to steal some minivans), others show a level of incompetence that is downright disappointing.
Take, for example, the dudes who used a backhoe to break into a gas station and steal an ATM, only to realize that they didn’t bring enough chain for the job, or that other guy whose shoplifting mission was ended after he got neutralized by a Coke bottle.
Now, another would-be burglar has been caught after doing something stupid. Over in the Yunnan province of southwest China, a man tried to break into a house, only to be stopped by the sounds of chatter from an adjacent room.
Rather than abandon the mission, the robber decided to get comfortable, taking refuge in a neighboring room and lighting up a cigarette to kill time. Our guy got so comfortable, in fact, that he accidentally fell asleep, a move that led to his eventual downfall.
According to the South China Morning Post, the family in the house was alerted to his presence after he began snoring so loudly that it was audible throughout the house. Still, they thought the sound might be coming from a neighbor — until, that is, they discovered him sleeping on the ground in the room over.
Shortly after discovering the slumbering man, the homeowner called the police, who quickly arrived and woke the guy to tell him that he was under arrest. Talk about a rough start to your day!
In short, if you’re going to rob a house, make sure you chug a few Red Bulls beforehand — or, at the very least, bring a few of those anti-snoring nasal strips.
'Stolen Valor': Nickelodeon Actress Desperate For Attention Claims She 'Ran Through' Entire Male Cast Before Dating Show’s Lead, She Didn't
“Dude, I ran through every Ned’s cast member before I landed on Devon,” spilled Shaw.
Published 1 year ago in Facepalm
Long before Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide stars Lindsey Shaw and Devon Werkheiser made fans wish they had kept their penchant for BTS BJs very much classified, the Nickelodeon alumni decided to spill more spicy details from their days on children’s television — specifically, Shaw’s history with pretty much all her male costars.
Shortly after Shaw admitted to turning Ned’s Declassified into Head’s Declassified, going down on Werkheiser between takes, a clip from another recent installment of the Ned’s Declassified Podcast Survival Guide’ resurfaced, this time, focusing on the actress’ various on-set crushes.
wait wtf pic.twitter.com/qLqnH1Lym2
— stradlater (@strad404) November 21, 2023
“Dude, I ran through every Ned’s cast member before I landed on Devon,” spilled Shaw, who starred as Jennifer “Moze” Mosely on the Nickelodeon series, prompting a resounding “the f—k!” from Werkheiser.
“The chosen one,” joked the podcast’s third co-host, Daniel Curtis Lee, who played Simon "Cookie" Nelson-Cook. ”That could be taken one of two ways.”
Though the actress later clarified that she only had innocent crushes on her colleagues — “You really had your pick,” joked Werkheiser, a.k.a. The show’s eponymous Ned Bigby — Twitter took her comments and ran, questioning why the show didn’t air a survival guide to gangbanging.
“If you were giving Toot-Toot the sloppy then you need real professional help ma’am,” joked @YourBudTevin.
Even coconut head ? pic.twitter.com/mRPoeDPd5U
— Paperboy Prince for U.S. President (@PaperboyPrince) November 22, 2023
“Even coconut head?” asked @PaperboyPrince while radiculebeats dubbed “shawty” a “bigger eater than One Bite.”
Shawty was a bigger eater than One Bite pic.twitter.com/qQgPiFQiNv
— Radicule. (@radiculebeats) November 21, 2023
Moral of the story? Don’t say you’re "ran through" unless you’re ready to put the “head” in “Coconut Head.”
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