Taylor Swift’s new album, The Life of a Showgirl, was released last night, and it’s all the internet can talk about. Rolling Stone gave the album five stars, Variety claimed it’s “The Album of the Summer” (it’s October 3rd), Pitchfork called one of the tracks “actually embarrassing” and The Standard likened the project to a “parody album hallucinated by some porn-addled A.I.”

Swift, who recently got engaged to Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce, spends much of the album talking about how Kelce “dickmatized” her, making references to his “redwood tree” and how his “magic wand” broke her “curse.”

lmao. taylor swift wrote a song about travis' penis
and how he dickmatized her

randomly throwing in words like cocky, wood, hard.

this is her horny era pic.twitter.com/DBoalgroX4

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— Helena La ShowGirl (@nikita_helene) October 3, 2025

“by some p0rn-addled AI” OMFG?? pic.twitter.com/RP79JoKPic

— grandespastlife (@grandespastlife) October 3, 2025

On the track “Wood,” Swift sings, “Forgive me, it sounds cocky / He ah-matized me and opened my eyes / Redwood tree, it ain’t hard to see / His love was thе key that opened my thighs.”

Swift, who famously hides messages in her songs and spends her albums dissing her enemies, isn’t being subtle this time around — she’s horny and wants you to know it.