Tony Hawk's Existential Nightmare Continues
What a life Tony Hawk has. Professional skateboarder, star of an extremely successful line of video games, and apparently the most "almost recognized" famous person on the planet. His Twitter is full of existential hilarity. Does Tony Hawk actually exist?
Guy in crowded elevator (not the one I got stuck in): “Have we worked together?”— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) December 12, 2019
Me: I don’t think so
Him (loudly): “SKATEBOARDER!”
Me: yes, I am one
Him: “We are honored to be in your presence”
Me: That’s excessive, but thanks
[awkward glances until doors open]
In hotel lobby, about to leave for @CAMuseum Hall Of Fame induction— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) December 11, 2019
Woman: “I don’t know who you are, but my friend recognized you and I want to get a picture for my son”
Her: “He’s a big fan, we watched your videos when he was young”
Me: Those are conflicting statements
Captain’s announcement, after landing and a slight delay on tarmac:— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) December 9, 2019
“As soon as this plane passes, we are going to do 180 turn to an open gate. Not as impressive as a 900 in 2016, but we’ll do our best.”
My life is so weird
In front of @WonderfrontFest vip gate, waiting for my kids to arrive so I can give them their wristbands.— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) November 25, 2019
Guy on bike: “is this the stage where @OFFICIALSTIG is playing and
Tony Hawk is skating?”
Me (with kneepads on) yep
Him: “where is the main entrance?”
Me: around the corner
A conversation with auto service:— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) November 22, 2019
my life as a meme pic.twitter.com/0QbZfKQIvE
Kid at skatepark (as I arrive): “you a good skater?— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) October 30, 2019
him: you ever been here?
him: you travel a lot?
me: yes, perhaps too much
him: are you a YouTuber?
me: no, I’m just a skater and a dad
him: wanna see me do a jump?
..and I then shot this pic pic.twitter.com/IBODPauEe2
Follow up: I asked him his name and he said Irving. I told him my name is Tony, to which he replied sarcastically “like Tony Hawk haha”— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) October 31, 2019
and then he left.
Woman at concert: “Are you Tony Hawk?”— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) September 16, 2019
me: I am today (Spicoli reference)
her: “I took a picture with you years ago”
her: “In Vegas. It was the first time my son thought I met someone cool.”
me: wow thanks
her: “he took the print, cut me out of it & put it on his wall”
At a skatepark, older dude outside the fence sees me and yells (heckles) “do a kickflip!”— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) September 14, 2019
So I did one.
He then turns to his friend and says: “holy sh!t, he actually did it”
At will call: I have 2 tickets for Hawk— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) September 1, 2019
agent: “Can I see your ID?”
me: I forgot it but I have a credit card
other agent: “He’s Tony Hawk”
agent: “he doesn’t have ID”
guy behind me: “that’s him”
agent: “I can’t find your name”
me: there is no E on the end
agent: “here you go”
Approaching ticket counter, agent looks up and exclaims “I know you... you’re a famous... person... or sports guy... skateboarder! And your name is...” (glances at my ticket)— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) August 24, 2019
me: close enough
her: my son would love a picture with you
me: Is he here?
To all the people who now approach me (especially at airports) to say “hey, you look like Tony Hawk” and then laugh: I got you... and thank you for your service.— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) August 15, 2019
Stepping out of a taxi in Paris, trying to pay and organize kids / bags.— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) August 11, 2019
Guy on sidewalk: “hey, you are a famous sports guy, I saw a video with you and @Casey Neistat!”
me: yeah, he’s cool
him “can I get a selfie & your name?”
me: yes, it’s Tony
him: “what’s your Instagram?”
For those that think I’m complaining about these encounters (I’m not; I think they’re funny), or that I’m simply making them up: here is the aforementioned selfie: https://t.co/e6YVzDYufK— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) August 11, 2019
Please don’t harass him; he was nice and I don’t expect everyone / anyone to know who I am.
Kid at skatepark:— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) July 29, 2019
“Are you Tony Hawk?”
me: I am
him: “no you’re not”
me: ok, I’m not
him: “but are you, FOR REAL?”
me: I am, for real
him: I thought you’d look younger
me: ME TOO
Meeting a friend for dinner, parking lot full, found a spot a few blocks away and skated to restaurant. Guy at crosswalk: “are you Tony Hawk?”— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) July 25, 2019
him: “I can do a kickflip”
him: “I wish you had your camera crew so I could show you”
me: I’m off the clock
In Athens, Greece at a Cure concert, walk up to bar to order drinks.— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) July 17, 2019
Guy next to me: “you gotta get in the back of that long line to buy drink tokens”
me: ok thanks
him: hey, you’re American!
me: I am
him: I know you but I don’t KNOW you
me: It happens
him: is your name Kelly?
Woman on plane: “Are you Tony Hawk?”— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) July 12, 2019
her: “my son knows all about you”
me: I’m honored
her: “do you sign autographs, or is that too 80’s?
me: it is a tradition that endures
her: “please sign this”
her: “not sure what he’ll do with it”
me: I can’t imagine
Went to a convenience store on my way to skate, approaching counter with water & Advil (I’m old), clerk sees me: “you look like someone”— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) June 19, 2019
me: oh yeah?
him: “what’s your name?”
him: “last name?”
him: “you are him?”
him: “no charge, but you owe me a selfie”
At Disneyland with kids, waiting in line for churros. Girl in front of me: “you look like Tony Hawks”— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) June 15, 2019
me: Is that good?
her, nonplussed: “I guess so”
In NYC, guy cutting meat at deli looks up with confusion:— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) June 13, 2019
“you freaked me out, I thought you were that guy from the movie Ghost”
me: Patrick Swayze?
him: “No, his friend that betrays him”
This interaction happens regularly (including yesterday):— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) April 28, 2019
X = a person I don’t know
XX = a city nowhere near San Diego
“Hey Tony Hawk”
“You grew up skating with my friend X!”
Where did he skate?
I’m sorry, but I grew up in San Diego
“Pretty sure it was you though”
Pulling up to drive-through window, girl starts to read back my order and stops herself: “you’re Tony Hawk?”— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) April 21, 2019
her: “can I tell everyone?”
me: I suppose
her: “yo, we got Tony Hawk at the window!”
voice from kitchen: “Who?”
At rental car agency, can’t find my name on the monitor to find my car, go inside & wait in line. Finally get to the front, agent sees me & says “you really are Tony Hawk”— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) April 14, 2019
Me: um, yes. I was looking for my name outside on the list
Him: “I deleted it because I thought it was fake”
Guy approaches me while standing in line at coffee shop in Cancún.— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) April 3, 2019
Him: my friend says you are a famous person. Is that true?
Me: that depends on your definition of fame
Him: will you show up on Google if I search your name?
Him (typing into phone): you are Tony Stark?
I’m sorry if these encounters seem redundant... but they’re all true & this just happened.— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) March 8, 2019
Sitting at gate, guy recognizes me, walks over & says hello.
Guy next to me: “you’re Tony Hawk?”
Him: “I have seen any recent pictures of you. You’ve gotten older.”
Me: it happens
Young kid at skatepark: “Are you a professional?”— Tony Hawk (@tonyhawk) March 3, 2019
Him: “But you’re a grown up!”
Me: I know. It’s weird.
Him: “I have a skateboard”
Me: I hope you never outgrow it