'You Wouldn't Have Survived 10 Minutes': Redditor Roasted After Bragging That Surviving the Titanic "Wouldn't Be That Difficult"
Despite this apparently unshakable confidence, several fellow Redditors called cap.
Published 1 year ago in Facepalm
One Redditor/aggressively confident “strong swimmer” decided to cap off their week by giving a massive f—k you to Jack Dawson, Rose DeWitt Bukater, and nearly 1,500 real-life victims who died over a century ago, arguing that “it wouldn’t be that difficult” to survive the Titanic sinking.
“I would simply stay on the ship for as long as possible in a safe location and tread water for as long as possible until a lifeboat shows up,” u/geuauas wrote in a post shared to the contrarian subreddit, r/The10thDentist.
Despite the fact that it took the Carpathia roughly 3.5 hours to race through the icy, 28-degree waters of the Atlantic to reach the site of the doomed ship, u/geuauas was clearly unphased, convinced that he could still tough it out.
“I am an athletic and able-bodied male with an intense drive to survive,” he continued, citing baker Charles Joughin, who survived the disaster by calmly treading water for several hours. “If he can do it, I most certainly could have as well,” he concluded.
Despite this apparently unshakable confidence, several fellow Redditors called cap.
“You wouldn't have survived for 10 minutes in the freezing waters,” wrote u/Kaoshosh.
“Average ‘I'm built different’ redditor moment lmao,” added u/Toasty_Rolls.
But even with these haters, we can only hope that u/geuauas will someday be able to put his theory to the test — after all, OceanGate is due for a liquidation sale!
Don’t Feel Like Going to Work? Just Tell Your Boss You Pooped Your Pants
Work life got you down? Co-workers getting on your last nerve? Bosses upon bosses nagging you about some B.S. project that wasn’t supposed to be your job in the first place?
Published 1 year ago in Funny
Work life got you down? Co-workers getting on your last nerve? Bosses upon bosses nagging you about some B.S. project that wasn’t supposed to be your job in the first place?
Do not worry, my sweet child. Enter the warm, tranquil waters of the hot tub — and tell your boss you shit your pants.
@toodirtydom monday mood. #fyp ♬ What Was I Made For? [From The Motion Picture "Barbie"] - Billie Eilish
Accompanied by that one Barbie song by Billie Eilish, this viral video shows a man in a hot tub offering some timeless advice. If you want to get out of work, the solution is simple: Inform your boss that you’ve dropped a deuce in your trousers.
Does shitting yourself prevent you from doing work? Not really — a shower and a change of clothes and you’re more than likely ready to continue your terrible job. But actually telling your boss that you shit yourself is another move entirely. It’s a display of power and unhinged honesty, something that is sure to make your boss panic and let you off for the day.
According to the TikToker, the tip actually works. “I do it twice a year,” the hot tub man says. “Whenever it’s really nice out, I’ll do it.”
Commenters on TikTok agreed. “My dad told me to always say it[‘s] a toliet issue. Nobody ever wants to check,” wrote one. “I say I have ‘severe stomach issues,’ and they get it,” added another. “Literally used this excuse this morning. Can confirm. It works,” stated a third.
Naturally, there were some in the comments — ER nurses, especially — who said that their job would not accept this excuse. Some even claimed to have tried it, only for their employer to hand them a new pair of pants and tell them to get cleaned up (c’mon, you know the answer here — keep shitting until they run out of pants!).
Even if it might not work, there’s no harm in trying. Call your boss over right now and tell him you’ve laid a brick in your Dickies — from there, the hot tub awaits.
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