Conflicted
Majorfathead
Published
08/05/2011
I am writing this to ask some advice or maybe get some validation, I don't know.
I have stated in previous blogs that I am dealing with the fact that my ailing parents are coming to the end of their tenure on this mortal coil and have been traveling every weekend to visit them and do what I can to help out around their house and generally provide some positive support for them.
This travel is on top of the weekly travel I perform for my employer and let me tell you it is a real grind. After being in my car and hotels all week long the last thing I want is to go another 3 - 4 hours past my house to visit them and be positive and upbeat, Let me preface this by saying that mom is completely bedridden and suffers from some sort of dementia so you never know from day to day if you are going to get depressed mom, evil mom, lucid mom or some combination of the latter, Dad on the other hand is completely distraught and lonely, He and mom have been together for almost 50 years and while it seems most of the time that they can't stand each other the bond between the two of them is 50 years old and I think they love each other very much. So I know he cherishes the small amount of companionship that I can offer.
Why the conflict? I decided this weekend to stay out on the road and take a weekend just to myself and while i will do a little paperwork ( to justify the cost of the hotel etc,) I will basically be incommunicado and not visiting them, therein lies the rub. It's only Friday night and i'm already feeling twinges of guilt for not going up there.
Now when I planned this weekend I laid the groundwork in advance with WHN and dad explaining that I would need to stay at the hotel in order to catch up on work (I know I know not quite the truth but infinitely easier) So here I sit in the hotel room writing this blog and trying to cherish the Me time that I have arranged, I actually scheduled a pretty busy weekend, beach on Saturday after paperwork, and fishing on Sunday on a half day boat. I hope all this will give me the much needed break that I was searching for.
Where am I going with this? Nowhere I guess, I would however like to solicit your opinions on whether I should have gone up to mom and dads or am doing the right thing by taking my time off.Any input, even stupid and inane (as long as it's on point) would be greatly appreciated.
Thinking about a pedicure for my nasty feet
MjrF
I have stated in previous blogs that I am dealing with the fact that my ailing parents are coming to the end of their tenure on this mortal coil and have been traveling every weekend to visit them and do what I can to help out around their house and generally provide some positive support for them.
This travel is on top of the weekly travel I perform for my employer and let me tell you it is a real grind. After being in my car and hotels all week long the last thing I want is to go another 3 - 4 hours past my house to visit them and be positive and upbeat, Let me preface this by saying that mom is completely bedridden and suffers from some sort of dementia so you never know from day to day if you are going to get depressed mom, evil mom, lucid mom or some combination of the latter, Dad on the other hand is completely distraught and lonely, He and mom have been together for almost 50 years and while it seems most of the time that they can't stand each other the bond between the two of them is 50 years old and I think they love each other very much. So I know he cherishes the small amount of companionship that I can offer.
Why the conflict? I decided this weekend to stay out on the road and take a weekend just to myself and while i will do a little paperwork ( to justify the cost of the hotel etc,) I will basically be incommunicado and not visiting them, therein lies the rub. It's only Friday night and i'm already feeling twinges of guilt for not going up there.
Now when I planned this weekend I laid the groundwork in advance with WHN and dad explaining that I would need to stay at the hotel in order to catch up on work (I know I know not quite the truth but infinitely easier) So here I sit in the hotel room writing this blog and trying to cherish the Me time that I have arranged, I actually scheduled a pretty busy weekend, beach on Saturday after paperwork, and fishing on Sunday on a half day boat. I hope all this will give me the much needed break that I was searching for.
Where am I going with this? Nowhere I guess, I would however like to solicit your opinions on whether I should have gone up to mom and dads or am doing the right thing by taking my time off.Any input, even stupid and inane (as long as it's on point) would be greatly appreciated.
Thinking about a pedicure for my nasty feet
MjrF
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