Burger King’s new A.1. Halloween Whopper is apparently leading to people having Halloween-themed green poop. So I did what any good investigative journalist/fat comedian would do. I went and ate some (read: multiple) A.1. Halloween Whoppers. Did it taste like poison? Of course, but no more than normal Burger King does. Burger King has come out and said that the bun contains only 1% food dye, which makes me wonder what the other 99% consists of, because it didn’t exactly leave me thinking, “What I just ate was definitely 99% food.” I’ll keep you updated. According to the Mayo Clinic, the average transit time for food is forty hours. However, I have a strong feeling this will take considerably less time to escape my body, so check back soon!