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How to be Popular in the Ebaumsworld Comments Section

Hi. You've come here to learn how to be popular on this website. Well, not popular on the website per se, but the comment section for whatever media item is being currently featured at the moment.

Sounds a bit pathetic, doesn't it? Well, you and many others have decided to devote the next few months to not only getting to know the other regulars who communicate via the comments section of this website, but also to become included in their exclusive clique. You will regret your decision to do this. Continue at your own risk.

First of all, realize that you will need some time to devote to this endeavor. One month is minimum. 2-3 months is better. You will need to devote 2-16 hours a day during this period, getting to know the "faces" of the day crew, night crew and, if you so desire, the sparsely populated weekend crew. A lack of "real" social circles will allow you the time to devote to this process.

Keep these keys in mind as you embark on this crazy adventure:

1. The people here use this site as their main source of socialization. Things that happen here do matter to them, even if they say they otherwise. If they ironically state that things do matter here, they are being genuine, not ironic.
2. Thumbs matter. See #1.
3. Day crew tends to be more active. This is due in large part to the presence of the user known as bdoubled, AKA Brian, who is an overweight gentleman from the American South with conservative political/religious leanings. Making fun of this obese user is the entire subject of conversation from 8 AM - 5 PM ET. Engage in this behavior to establish rapport with other users.
4. Night crew will introduce a more bitter set of characters, led by their leader, gen_lerxst. Many users are loyal to gen_lerxst, but some will insult him. Pick your stance (pro or con) and establish rapport with like minded users.
5. Approximately 4 AM ET every morning, you will see a user known as Shylilazn. Along with Brian, this user is discussed constantly. Typically the conversation is negative. Engage in this behavior to establish camaraderie with other users.

BrianBot2000
BrianBot2000
Uploaded 11/11/2013
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