Inventors Fear Emotionally Intelligent Robot Will Be Ruined By Sex

Japanese telecommunications company Softbank has teamed with French robotics company Aldebaran to create the world’s first emotionally intelligent robot, but they add one minor caveat to consumers: Please do not have sex with this robot. With that in mind, savvy consumers who are ready to spend $1,600 on a fuck-bot, these aren't the droids you're looking for. Sadly you may have to wait for the next wave in robotics technology before the market has an accurate facsimile of R2-D2, that you can give D too.


Aldebaran’s web-site describes Pepper as a social robot, who is emotionally intelligent and able to converse with people in an “engaging and friendly” way. Before we demonize fuck-bot consumers, who is more crazy the person who spends $1,600 on a robot for sexual purposes, or the person who spends $1,600 on a robot because they want to have an engaging and friendly dialogue with an appliance?


First point of interest, if Softbank didn’t want people to have sex with their emotionally intelligent robots, then why did they make them so sexy? Look at this robot. Pepper’s has a battery with a 14 hour lifespan, and an ass that never powers down. Pepper’s sleek pencil-skirt like lower half tapers into her 3 omnidirectional wheels in a way that will alert any amature WIll Robinson to an iminent danger rising in his pants.


If you are still not feeling the urge to jump this robot’s robo-bones based on still photos check out this video of Pepper in action, making conversation in Japanese and asking to borrow 10,000 yen ($100). I don’t know about you, but I have a hard time believing an emotionally intelligent robot that can handle asking a stranger for money has the emotional boundaries to deny a little robo-humanoid bump n’ grind. This is probably a trick on the part of Softbank and Aldebaran to keep frustrated consumers securely ‘friend-zoned’ by their sexy robots.

I was unable to find any specific warnings on Aldebaran’s site related to direct functionality issues that Pepper may have after love-making, as it relates to human bodily fluids and such. But If I were you, I’d take the wisdom I’ve gained from accidentally putting my iPhone through the washing machine and go out and buy a giant zip lock bag of uncooked white rice before romancing one of these sexy robots.

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