Hey, how about a good skullfucking? You up for one? Nothing like feeling the head of your phallus penetrating that small cavity between one's eyeball and the skull. No? Really, though, it's nice and warm and gooey, and the eyeball rolls around against the shaft, it's great. You don't think so? But the sounds, oh the sounds. I just cream myself thinking about the luscious sucking-slurping sound it makes, and their pain-laced screams. What?

When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading Guns & Ammo, masturbating in your own feces... do you just stop and go, 'WOW! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am'?

I love the smell of dog diarrhea in the morning! You know, one time we had a dog who shit for twelve hours, and when it was all over, I woke up. We didn't find one of them, not one stinking dog nearby. The smell - you know, that Murphy Soap smell - the whole dining room - it smelled like victory.