some fucked up shit about my life in china

Hey ebaums, chinese female here sharing some stories w/ you. I'm 20 right now going to college in the states but I grew up in china. my great-grandmother died when my grandma gave birth to my mom, and my grandma died when my mom gave birth to me. i remember a lot of weird things from childhood in china, like sitting on my grandma's grave and talking to her. i remember seeing her a lot in my dreams and recognized her in pictures growing up. my mom used to be a nurse before we immigrated, and she kind of jumped around a lot in the different departments. she told me about how she and her colleagues used to pull up near execution grounds and wait for the soldiers to shoot the prisoners. the soldiers would pull the bodies into the vans and they'd perform surgery on semi-conscious people to extract unharmed organs like hearts, corneas, kidneys and parts of livers. she was able to watch a pair of corneas travel from a dying prisoner to an old man waiting for transplant in less than a day.
daycares weren't exactly a thing back then, so i used to go to work with her a lot, and just stay in the nurse's office or tag around with her. there was a while when she worked in ob-gyn, performing late term abortions. i remember following her one day and watching the doctors herd all of these pregnant women around. the first thing they do is give them shots through the uterus lining right into the sac where the baby was. apparently it was formaldahyde or something like it to kill the babies so that the women would have stillbirths. if the women stuck around for long enough after that, the doctor would give something so that the women would have contractions right away, and start squeezing the babies out. the fetus is given a shot in the crown of the head, then the doctor would twist the head so that the neck breaks, and pull the fetus out. they kept a bucket where all the aborted fetuses were, and my mom would sometimes have to take them out and dispose of them.

she took me with her once, because there was no way to strap the bucket to the back of her bike, i had to hold it while riding behind her. i remember opening it up midway and staring down at all the little babies inside and touching the ones with hair. the crown of their heads were really soft like a half filled waterballoon, and if i poked them hard enough, whatever the doctor injected into their craniums would come out through the same hole. that time my mom biked them up to a river on the outside of the city and buried them on the banks.

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Uploaded 09/03/2012
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