The end is nigh

They have been saying it for years, but society is really going to pot. People eating others' faces, recession, a communism country becoming an unstoppable world super power, cats lying down with dogs, the internet becoming boring...

It wasn't long ago when there were blogs slagging off Ebaum's World for not having good content. Well Ebaum's world just mercilessly steals all its shit from the internet so it is just a reflection of the net: if Ebaum's world is shit; the internet is shit.

Is it possible that we, as an internet society, have seen it all? how many times do you see the title of a feature and imagine exactly what will happen so don't even bother looking? skater kid face plants: who doesn't immediately picture that happening?

As with gold, coal, oil and old Friends jokes... they all become depleted, and so will interesting things on the internet. What will we do then? Well insanity! and it has already started! People make up any old crap as a way of finding something original to post on the net. They go to extreme lengths to be the biggest trolls, the most random, to stick things in their bodies that should be kept out of reach from small children. They fake things, they do dare devil motorbike jumps, knock each other out. Look what the internet has done to these poor people; their existence is reduced to: I am famous on YouTube; therefore I am. Like the tattered and insane bears in a Russian circus, exhausted from trying to entertain for the chance of being rewarded with scraps of food; their reactions becoming conditioned, their brains hardwired to react to the slightest amount of attention. Junkies, obsessives, doomed to end up living in a cardboard box with a sign saying "will fart on cue for attention"

Mark my words: the apocalypse will come, not from a comet, nuclear holocaust or zombie infestation, but by the internet running out of interesting things. There will be riots and random people going postal. Parents will drown their own kids to experience something new, elderly relatives will be pushed down steep hills in their wheel chairs, dogs will be used as hats whilst still technically alive, relatively well adjusted and intelligent adults will start listening to justin bieber... just horrible...

For my 30 seconds of fame I want to be forever known as "that guy who said it would happen and it did" I hope that gives me enough attention to retire on...
Uploaded 06/12/2012
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