Wtf - articles

TSA Apologizes After Someone Managed to Bring a Meat Cleaver Onto a Flight

Thank goodness no one had any 4 fl oz bottles — otherwise, we’d be in *real* trouble.

Fox News Says You Can Save Money This Holiday Season by Not Giving Family Members Gifts

Way ahead of you!

California Universities Say Growing Number of Entrants Lack Basic Math Skills

Who cares — they’re just going to ask ChatGPT to do it anyway.

DoorDash Admits They Change Your Prices Based on Your Past Behavior

They’re not judging you — they’re just charging you.

Study Finds That Basically Every Single American is Obese

If everyone’s obese, then nobody is … right?

Foreigners Coming to the U.S. Can Now Get Their Visa Denied for Being Fat

How are they supposed to integrate if they can’t get chunky like the rest of us?

Starbucks’ New ‘Bear Cup’ Has Customers Screaming and Throwing Hands at Each Other

Starbucks has a new bear-shaped cup — and I will crush anyone who stands in my path to get it.

Bill to End Shutdown Also Gets Rid of a Bunch of Food Safety Rules for Some Reason

So that was all for nothing, huh?

Fannie Mae Says They’re Ditching Minimum Credit Scores for Mortgages

Is it happening?

Carnival Investigated After Nine-Year-Old Found Operating Ride

He was also bad at his job.

Target Says Its Workers Are Now Required to Smile at Customers

They’re literally telling their employees to “Smile more, baby!”

Trump Says He’s Going to Create His Own Air Traffic Control System

Let that thought calm you on your next flight.

Facebook Admits That 10% of Its Revenue Comes from Fraud and Scams, but They’re Not Going to Do Anything About It

Oh. Well, okay then.

AI-Powered AI Plagiarism Detectors Are Now Hallucinating AI Where There Isn’t Any

Yo dawg, we heard you like AI, so we put AI on your AI until your economy collapsed.

Experts Warn That the U.S. Economy Is Filling Up With ‘Zombie Companies’

Is that good?

German Nurse Admits to Offing Patients Because He Had ‘Too Much Work’

Wow, this guy sucks!

Transportation Secretary Says Air Travel Might Implode Next Week

If you have a flight planned this month, no you don’t.

Hooters Promises New Uniforms with “Less Butt Cheeks”

This is for the guys who say they go there for the food.

The U.S. Dairy Industry Has Been Secretly Marketing Super Cheesy Products to Foreign Countries

See those burgers in Dubai covered in liquid yellow cheese? Yeah, it’s probably a propaganda effort.

Tesla is Being Investigated for Its (Allegedly) Law-Breaking ‘Mad Max’ Self-Driving Mode

Turns out, the computer program named after a dystopia might actually be dangerous.

The FBI is Officially Targeting True Crime Fans

They say that participating in the “True Crime Community” could be an “indicator of criminal activity.”

Waymo CEO Says Society Needs to Learn to Accept Robotaxis Running Them Over

In order for technology to progress, a few people need to become pancakes.

There’s a Monkey With Hepatitis C and Herpes Loose in Mississippi

They say it’s not infectious … but I’m not getting anywhere near it.

Woman Walking Her Dog Gets Hit by a Plane and Survives

Not exactly a hazard you would expect when walking your dog.

OpenAI Says Half a Million People Experience AI-Induced Psychosis A Week Thanks to ChatGPT