Wtf - articles

Bill to End Shutdown Also Gets Rid of a Bunch of Food Safety Rules for Some Reason

So that was all for nothing, huh?

Fannie Mae Says They’re Ditching Minimum Credit Scores for Mortgages

Is it happening?

Carnival Investigated After Nine-Year-Old Found Operating Ride

He was also bad at his job.

Target Says Its Workers Are Now Required to Smile at Customers

They’re literally telling their employees to “Smile more, baby!”

Trump Says He’s Going to Create His Own Air Traffic Control System

Let that thought calm you on your next flight.

Facebook Admits That 10% of Its Revenue Comes from Fraud and Scams, but They’re Not Going to Do Anything About It

Oh. Well, okay then.

AI-Powered AI Plagiarism Detectors Are Now Hallucinating AI Where There Isn’t Any

Yo dawg, we heard you like AI, so we put AI on your AI until your economy collapsed.

Experts Warn That the U.S. Economy Is Filling Up With ‘Zombie Companies’

Is that good?

German Nurse Admits to Offing Patients Because He Had ‘Too Much Work’

Wow, this guy sucks!

Transportation Secretary Says Air Travel Might Implode Next Week

If you have a flight planned this month, no you don’t.

Hooters Promises New Uniforms with “Less Butt Cheeks”

This is for the guys who say they go there for the food.

The U.S. Dairy Industry Has Been Secretly Marketing Super Cheesy Products to Foreign Countries

See those burgers in Dubai covered in liquid yellow cheese? Yeah, it’s probably a propaganda effort.

Tesla is Being Investigated for Its (Allegedly) Law-Breaking ‘Mad Max’ Self-Driving Mode

Turns out, the computer program named after a dystopia might actually be dangerous.

The FBI is Officially Targeting True Crime Fans

They say that participating in the “True Crime Community” could be an “indicator of criminal activity.”

Waymo CEO Says Society Needs to Learn to Accept Robotaxis Running Them Over

In order for technology to progress, a few people need to become pancakes.

There’s a Monkey With Hepatitis C and Herpes Loose in Mississippi

They say it’s not infectious … but I’m not getting anywhere near it.

Woman Walking Her Dog Gets Hit by a Plane and Survives

Not exactly a hazard you would expect when walking your dog.

OpenAI Says Half a Million People Experience AI-Induced Psychosis A Week Thanks to ChatGPT

Congresswoman Announces She Has Dementia and That She’s Running for Reelection

The diagnosis came to light after she was scammed out of thousands of dollars.

Silicon Valley Tech Bros Are Getting Facelifts So VCs Think They’re Still ‘Young Founders’

Good luck being taken seriously in the Valley if you don’t look fresh out of the womb.

AI Data Centers Are Now Using Jet Engines to Power Their Servers

Hear that sound? It’s not a jet taking off — it’s me generating pictures of Sexy Pikachu.

Disney Will Reportedly No Longer Have Villains in Parks Year-Round

They’ll only appear around Halloween from now on.

Suzanne Somers’ Husband Says He ‘Can’t Tell The Difference’ Between His Late Wife and her AI Clone

I don’t know if that speaks worse of her or him.

Google Searches for 'Hamburger Helper' Reach Five-Year High

Soon it will be “how to cook can of beans over fire.”

Kohler Debuts New Toilet Technology: A Camera That Analyzes Your Poop

I’ll pass, thanks.