Two friends go to a bar for a beer. After a few rounds, one of them asks the other "Say, John, if you ever got drunk and woke up in a forest naked, with your ass all scratched and covered with vaseline - would you tell anybody?"

John thinks for a moment and replies "No way."

"What if you found a used condom in your ass - would you tell anybody?" the friend asked again.

"Never!" - John replied without hesitation

John's friend took a sip of his beer and asked "You wanna go camping?"