When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me

it kinda Reminds me of the preacher who gave a sermon on the 10 Commandments, hoping that when he got to "Thou Shall Not Steal" whoever stole his bike would confess. No one confessed but when he got to the part about "Thou shall not commit adultery" he remembered where he left his bike.