Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies

1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Directions:
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl,
check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality,
pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large
fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this
point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another
cup ... just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2
leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit,

Pick the frigging fruit off floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried
druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a
drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a
sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice
and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not
to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw
the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and
make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHEERY MISTMAS!!